Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Finding a compatible partner for a relationship: why you are still single despite being successful

Many times, both the men and the women use to think that being successful and having physical qualities guarantee's them to finding a compatible partner for a relationship that match their standards, but its barely a true fact, that's why you see many successful men and women staying as singles without marriage.

Being a financially independent lady, or a successful man are not part of the qualities that many people consider while looking for a soul mate to settle down with. For the woman, being very attractive and successful does not even bring you a step forward to getting the rightful partner.

In today's life, many people choose not to look into qualities such as success and financial independence while looking for a compatible partner, and so if you think whose qualities will make a guy, or a lady to like you, then you are wrong.
Thinking of such qualities in this process is intimidating, though having a successful person as your partner is desirable, but not much considered while searching for true love and a compatible partner. There are so many things that matters a lot while looking for a compatible partner.

Setting your standards so high is one factor that will limit the choices you have in getting a compatible partner. But what does a compatible partner mean to you? Does it mean someone who also have the same success and financial stands like you? If so, then you are taking it the wrong way.

You should be able to learn that a compatible partner does not necessarily mean that the person must be successful as you are, but means someone who shares the same interest with you and is willing to love and cherish you no without thinking twice about your wealth status.

There are some things which makes other people think that coming for you will be a rejection for them, some of these things are:

1) You like your independence: as you know that you are financially independent and don't need anyone to help you spend your cash or tell you what and what to do with your cash, this will scare many people away because they think coming into your life will cause you discomfort and bring your financial independence to an end, and they probably think you will not allow them to do that. So because of that, they refuse to come because of your high standard of living.

2) You just want a person who will match your working class, someone who also have what you have, and that is to say, you are picky. Now you know that is not going to happen. standards are also good but finding someone whose personality is different from yours and who have different interest will make you have a very interesting relationship life.

3) When you live with high standards, many of the people who want to meet you for a serious relationship will be scared off because they think you don't need them, as your standards of living shows you are so self-sufficient and so, no one would like to think that you need them.

Finding a compatible partner for a relationship who you can settle with have to be done in a way that shows you are ready for the things coming regardless of your being a successful person.
So you need to ask your self these following questions.

1) What does being a suitable partner means to you?

2) Now that you are ready to settle down, what does compatibility means to you?

3) Assuming you did not find anyone compatible and suitable for you now that you are ready to settle down with someone, what will now be your next plan?

4) Since you are financially compatible and strong, what will be your expectations from that person you consider a suitable partner?

5) If you don't find anyone compatible and suitable to you and you are still single and searching for many years now, will you be ready to lower those things you are expecting from the partner of yours? Will you be ready to drop some one those expectations and just consider other factors like real love, care and support? Or will you just continue to look up to those standards?.

Now ask yourself those questions and if you find it hard answering them, then here are some things I consider you to do when things don't work out the way you want.

1) You must reduce those expectations and be less concerned about those expectations which you want to be in-line with your own standards.

2) Find a mentally stable person, and make sure you don't put much expectations from him/her.

3) Make sure you are good in listening, be a good listener and also be a patient person so that you will be able to listen well to situations around you.

4) Be sociable: at lest this will help you to find someone who is right for you and someone who can make you happy by showing much love and care without minding your financial status. Also this will give you the chance to see who will be right for you to move on with.

5) Don't expect your Mr. Right or Mrs. Right to just come with so much fitness, wealth and a happy countenance, a good reputation can never be built in one day, and so is a good man/woman, you don't expect the right person to be an achiever at first sight, you must give things time for change.

So as someone finding a compatible partner for a relationship, you must learn not to care so much about standards, though its desirable, and if you find a good person with such qualities, then it's a lucky one for you, but am sure that if you consider all the things been written down above, it will help you towards climbing the ladder to finding a compatible and a suitable partner.

How to end a relationship when you are not sure about the future of your relationship

So here comes this situation where you are in a relationship with someone who you know you can't be together with in the future, and you love that person so much, but since you are not sure of the future for both of you, and then you are looking for ways on how to end a relationship.

Is there any need to continue in the relationship? Or it's just time to break off and move on with your life with another person whom you know you can be together with in the future.

This is a situation in one's life where the individual gets confused about the relationship and wishes to find reasons for being in that relationship.
When that person you are in love with is the only person that keeps you going, you are being addicted to that person, that person have become part of your life and your dreams, you can't sit for a second without thinking about that person, and all you have wanted was to be together with that person, then here comes the situation where you are sure that both of you can't be together in the future, then you realize that it was all a fantasy.

There are many situations that makes one to know that they can not be together with that person they have wished to be with in the future. Here are some of those situations and how to get over with them without thinking yourself out. Here we go.

* When Your Parents Do Not Approve That Person And Probably Don't Even Want You To Be With Him Because He Has Nothing To Show Off And He Does Not Have Enough To Take Good Care Of You In The Future. So you want to breakup with him

This Situation is faced by mostly the women in relationships today, so here is an objective answer to relief you of this situation.
Let's take it this way, if you will want to breakup with him because he is not what your parents want him to be, then you don't love him, and you are not in love with him. If you really love him, then you don't have to love the version of him which your parents and friends wants him to be.

If you really love him, then you will love who he is at that moment, and you will not be thinking of what your parents or friends want him to be or what they approve of him. When you love him truly, then your family and friends have limited choices to what you want. This means that your family and friends must accept you as you are and as who you are. Now this also implies that they must accept the choices you make towards things that makes you happy.

So you see that you have to let him go, or you love him for who he is and for who you are, if you really love him, then your love is not an outward love, but if you love what you want him to be, then you have to let him go when in situations like this because you are not truly in love with him.

In situations like this, you can't change him into someone your friends and family will approve for you because you don't have the right to do so, and if you think you can change him to be what your family wants him to be, then you are also giving him the right to turn you and change you to whosoever he wants you to be. Now am sure you are not ready for that. So you should let go of him if you want him to be what your family approve of him, or you continue to love him and get your family and friends to respect you for your choices you make and for whom you are.

* Your Partner Is Not Strongly Committed To You.
When your partner is strongly committed to you and the relationship, and also if he/she really want to be together with you in the future, you see your partner doing a lot of things and making a lot of good decisions which shows you that he/she truly loves you and want to be together with you in the future. Some of these things might be: 1) Relocating to the area where you live. 2) Getting to school for a good education background. 3) Getting a better job just to make sure both of you don't find it hard caring for your needs. Etc.

But when your partner finds it hard coming to live at the same location with you, or even coming to the area where you live just to see you, or when he/she finds it hard looking for a better job to make you feel comfortable, or when he/she does not want to go to collage despite the fact that you want him/her to go to collage. Then you know that they are not dedicated to making you happy and making decisions that makes you feel comfortable.

Also when your partner finds it hard coming to see your family, while your own family are eager to see that your lover. Your family will see it this way as not being serious about the relationship, and that's the impression you will get too. So when you see such incidents setting into your relationship, you should breakup with your partner because the future is not clearly seen to be true between both of you.

There are situations where you find your partner very controlling and self-centered, you see that your partner does not really does things that shows care and love for you. When your partner does things based on his/her own interest, that means your lover does not care about how you feel when things are not taken the way you want them to be.

* The Time To Breakup:
When you know that there is no future in your relationship, just breakup because there is no need of being in the relationship, love is not an investment fund. You might have been in the relationship for a long period of time, but you don't have to regret the time you have wasted, because you live in a planet called earth where you live, you love, you win and you also fail. So there is nothing you lost. The time both of you have spent have given you a lot of experience, you have learned a lot of things about this thing called relationship, and you don't owe that person you broke up with anything. You broke up because you feel like that person does not meet your desires and aspirations as to what you want from a potential partner

* It's Always Good To Be Patient:
But sometimes, it will seem that you are all in a hurry to get what you want, not knowing that good dreams and aspirations don't come through the easy way at all times. Sometimes you need to allow things to develop and evolve for good. Maybe you think that your partner does not have enough to take care of you, do you think that things will continue to be like that? Or because your partner is still in collage while you are already a working class.
Things always change and you see the poor today becoming the rich tomorrow. So it always count when you remain patient and allow things to happen at the times being set for them.

* Why Not Give Your Relationship A Chance?
Its not always good looking for ways on how to end a relationship when you are not thinking of breaking up, then the option you got is to give your relationship a chance. Now during this time, you need to set many things aright and get them moving in the right direction you want them to go. You have to improve your communication with your lover and talk about the things that both of you want from each other and discuss on how you can get them fulfilled.

Talking about what your friends, if they don't like partner, then you need to know the right body languages to use while talking about him/her so that they don't turn him off or see him as a jerk whenever both of you are together. While giving your relationship a chance, you must allow things to develop and improve in their own times and not looking for ways on how to end a relationship.

Be The Man: What You Must Do To Maintain Control In Your Relationship

I come across a lot of people asking a question like "How can I be the man in my relationship" and I use to wonder what they mean by that. Then with time, I discovered many things about this question will help you also to maintain that role of leadership and control in every relationship you go into.

This is what many people have always want to get answers to, but you see, originally, when you are into a relationship as a man, then there you go, you are already the man in your relationship, but for you to continue being the man in that relationship, there are certain things you must do so that your girlfriend or your wife do not turn into the one controlling you and the relationship.

Generally, when you can't make your own decisions final in a relationship, then you are not in control, if you does any thing she asks you to do, then you are not in control, and if you don't give straight forward answers to certain situations, you might end up loosing control and becoming the dog in your relationship.

Okay now, so how can I be the man in my relationship. When you try to always be loving, very sweet and attentive to your wife or girlfriend, you will end up selling yourself into her own hands and that will utterly destroy your relationship. so always be who you are, maintain your real self as you go into any relationship and not turning yourself into a respectful, attentive and obedient house dog.

Here are Things You Must Do To Maintain Control In Your Relationship.

1) Learn To Say No!
For a long period of time, you have been doing everything she asked you to do, going everywhere she wants you to go, eating anything she wants you to eat. And you are being obedient because you don't want to miss any opportunity to make her happy. You just do things to ensure you please her even if it will cost you your whole money and time. Hell no! That's so wrong of you, that's why she treats you like a dog in your relationship. And you must stop it before it destroys your relationship. And if you are not doing it, then don't try doing it just because you feel like doing all those things will make her happy.

Start Saying "No!!" to her, start saying no from every small thing to the biggest, but make sure you choose the areas of application carefully. You don't expect yourself to say No to having $ex with her because you want to be in control (lol), that's not right, it's rather another thing else(showing displeasure). So you must learn the places and points in time to say No.

If your wife or girlfriend wants you to buy her something which you know you can't afford, then say No to her. Or if she want to cook a dinner you hated so much insisting that you must take it, say No to her. Now think of this, can you just imagine your wife or girlfriend ordering you to get her the TV remote? Say No immediately and insist that she should take it her self, unless if the situation warrants, for example when she is Pregnant as your wife, you can help her do that, but for those of us still with our girlfriend, this is a hot one for you. Also imagine your girlfriend telling you to "Get dressed, we are going to my mom's house". Is that really necessary? You must learn to say no to these pivotal things which can turn you into a dick head in your relationship.

2) Create and Form Your Own Opinions.
This one is a natural step and it occurs to nature. You must know that not every situation in a relationship can be handled with a simple "No", Questions like " What do you think we should take for dinner", it will not make any sense if you just shout No to questions like this, it rather sounds stupid. But also at the same time, avoid giving answers which will turn you into a slave to whosoever that received the answer to the question. For example, answers like "well it's up to you" will actually tell her to do prepare whatever she likes which you must accept because that was the option you gave her. Such phrases will get her to be in control of your actions and your life too

So in other to make sure you maintain control in situations like this, you must learn to form your own opinions which favours both of you and an opinion which you think is the best. Don't be in a hurry to give out a reply, be relaxed and calm, don't just rush. Then think about what is been asked, and come out with certain answer which you know will benefit the both of you. When you are sure you have completed the above steps, then you are ready to move on.

3) Be The Leader.
This one here does not mean you should dominate her and get her to do things your own way. You must be cooperative in an effective and efficient way, and make sure you show her signs of equality between the both of you. As the leader, you have to make sure you take responsibility of everything both good and bad.

4) Protect Her
This does not mean that you should confront anyone who tries to harm her physically or tackle anything that will harm her physically. You should be able to handle and take care of arising problems, or take care of things before they become bigger problems. Don't expect your wife or girlfriend to handle things her own way because she might not be able to take care of some things that may arise, so you must be there to always protect those things from her and also avoid those problems from coming in.

5) Be The Provider
You should make sure that you provide for her needs, now not only her financial needs, but also provide emotionally. When you allow your shortcomings to be carried along with the loads of her emotional burdens. Make sure you get things done, and not allowing her to do those things. When you allow her to do things, she will take responsibility of those things, then use that opportunity to pickup your slack and even act as your mother.

6) Deliver Everything but Don't Promise Anything
Do not tell your wife or girlfriend of your upcoming plans which you know will change things. You can inform her about things that also concerns her and which you think she should know. But you should not let her know that you are making changes in your life. When you let her know when maybe you want to start something new which will bring progress to your life, she will probably increase her demands and her standards which you might find hard to fulfil but nevertheless, you will always want to get those things for her. This will tie you down to her and cause you more setback.

Changes like this must be done without telling a single soul, not even your wife, or your girlfriend, it must be discretely done. And when you do it this way, you gradually start achieving your goals, and she will gradually notice your progress. This will get her to respect you more, love you more. And she will appreciate you wholeheartedly which earns you her trust.
When you keep things discrete until done, other people will notice it when you start achieving your new goals.

You should create more confidence in your relationship and limit that which you have in other aspects of your life. This will turn you into the man other people want to be like. So for you to become a better person, you must be the "man" in your relationship.

Saturday, 2 May 2015

See the reasons why a woman should not ask a man out for date

As a woman, the idea of asking a man out yourself is a step which if taken, can cause you both negative feedbacks, and positive assumptions.

When a woman finds a man whom she likes, it's normally seen that she probably like to approach the man without thinking about any negative effect to what she is doing. Yes it is good and alright to ask a man out, there is nothing bad in doing so, but because of some things being assumed by other people, it attracts many negative effects.

Normally, a woman can ask a man out, and there are many women who also do ask men out, but unfortunately, there are many erroneous definitions given to this act, these erroneous assumptions are being made by many people and also many social circles where they believe that it is actually a wrong idea that a woman should ask a man out on a date. Because of these assumptions, they give negative feedbacks mostly to these women who do ask men out on dates.

Many women are seen facing total rejection and turn off by men who believe in this assumptions. But it's not a bad idea if a woman should do that, there are probably reasons to why she is asking a man out as a woman and though her reasons are not known yet, there is no need taking it the other way round just because she is making the first move.

Some People Describes Women Who Ask Men Out As Sluts, Is That True? And Why?

Yes, there are many men out there who consider women who ask men out as sluts, but is barely a truth and a fact. A slut is always known for finding much comfort in sexual activities with other men whom she likes to get into such acts with, that means she would probably be dating more than one man in her lifetime.
Now some people consider women who asks men out as women who want to go into an intimate relationship which involves sexuality, but that's from their own thinking, so it is considered not to be true.

When a woman is seen asking a man out, there must be a certain reason to that, she has already known what she wants from the man, or the unique quality in the man which made her to ask him out. Now that woman must have known the correct manner of approach she would use to get what she want from the man, so you see that it does not make her a slut, if given a chance, you will know her reasons for asking you out as a man.
But when your definition to a slut is "Someone who asks a man out" , then your answer to this question is that " a woman is not a slut for asking a man out" .

When you compare these two things, a woman asking a man out, and a slut, you see that they have no relation at all, a slut is sexually promiscuous, but a woman asking a man out has another thing in her mind. A woman will probably ask a man out due her own personal reasons which you can never understand except she shares those reasons with you.

Now talking about those reasons why a woman should not ask a man out, there are many reasons, and these reasons come in handy due to those false assumptions being made by other people. Here are some of the false assumptions which gives the " Reasons Why A Woman Should Not Ask a Man Out.

1) They Think She Is Desperate.
Yes, a woman who asks a man out can be falsely accused of desperation which others might still believe to be true, you know when a woman is desperate for a particular thing, she can do anything to get it. For example, when a woman wants money, or she wants someone who can spend on her and take care of her needs, she can be desperate to find someone who can do such things for her, and when she finds someone like that, she can't help her desperation and finally, she end up asking that man out. But it's not the same in all cases, not all women who ask men out are desperate or in need of something.

2 She Is Said To Be Easy
An easy woman can do surprising things which you think they are not right, an easy woman does not think hard before doing a particular thing or taking a particular decision. So a woman asking a man out might be seen to be an easy person who does not have the hard to get syndrome her. That's not true in all cases, and the answer to this assumption is "No, she is not an easy person".

3) She Only Wants a Sexual Relationship
Many times, this assumption is made and that's why women who ask men out get others to think that they only wants a sex partner and not a relationship partner. She is not in desire for sex, so this is certainly untrue.

4) She Is Seen As A Slut.
This another aspect of a false assumption, people think that they are just sexually promiscuous and just want to date many men for sexual pleasures. This is untrue.

5) She Is Just A Sugar Mummy
Do you think that's true? People think that a woman asking a man out means that she just want to get into that position of supporting, helping and even paying that man as far as he agree to be with her. That's one false part of those assumptions being made by the people.

So if you find yourself in an environment where they believe any of such assumptions, then its not a good idea to ask any man out, but in other situations where you find it comfortable to do that, you can ask a man out.

But these assumptions are not actually true, the world is already changing, and here comes 2015, where many things have changed, and today, you see a bunch of women asking men out and getting accepted by those men because its good to be loved and admired by a woman, and when you get such admiration from a woman, you don't need to turn her off and reject her, you should just accept her and with time, you will know her real reasons for such approach on you. Its just a courtesy, and when you get that, you should never try to compare it to sluttish activities.

Today's dating culture is changing, and today, you see that it's either the man, or the woman making the move and they get along in no time. So don't reject a woman who makes an approach to you, you should accept her just the way you will want another woman to accept you if you ask her out.

Friday, 1 May 2015

Trust and love: how to get over trust Issues with your partner

In many relationships I have seen day by day, I discovered that many partners involved in relationships do have a trust issue with one another, and sometimes, it's hard for both of them to get along in that relationship and that is where the issue of trust and love sets in. 

In any relationship that comes into existence, there must be trust, and when trust is absent, then that relationship will never work because a vital component tends to be missing in that particular relationship. So let's talk about some trust situations and how to get over them in the long run.

* Like in the case of one friend of mine, he narrated his story to me about " his girl who have always lied to him before they started to be lovers, and immediately they got into a relationship with each other, he now find it hard trusting her because of his past experience with her, knowing her abilities to lie over many things. So because of this, he just finds it hard trusting her .

Solution: Now in this case, what could you have done if you are the one? Or are you also in the same situation described above? Now read this.
If you really love your partner and you still want to be together with her or with him, don't you think discussing about it together with an open mind will help to lessen the heavy load of distrust you have in your partner? Lying to you before the relationship started is one different situation, and so you have to know why she has been lying to you before your relationship kicked off. Let's say it this way, maybe lying to you before the relationship was because it's her own idea and way of not allowing you to go away or kick against what she has lied to you about.

So you don't actually know her own reasons for such lies, and by discussing it with her, you get to hear from her own perspective and think from her own points of reason.
This process will allow you to have a proper and clear understanding of the situation and it will help you to handle it the right way. 

To bring this part to close, it is absolutely true that everyone lies, everybody lies in a relationship but it depends on the effect of that lie to your relationship, so if the lie being spoken turns out harmful to your relationship, then you use the solution above to sort it out and know if your relationship can still stand, but if the lie being spoken has proven to be harmless to your relationship, then the best thing to do is to let go of those lies and rebuild your trust once again. 

Its just a matter of giving the relationship one last chance by taking a risk to build back the trust you have in your partner, so any other thing you do apart from this is just a total waste of time, so better just give it a shot, just a try.

* A Close friend of yours reported to you that he/she saw your partner hanging out with an ex, having a very romantic dinner with another person,or exchanging lovely and romantic text messages with someone, but when you asked your partner about it, your partner flatly denied being there or doing it.

Solution:
This might be a though one for you, and if you are in this kind of a situation, what will you do? Who will you believe? Your friend or your partner? Read what you have to do now.

* Firstly, you have to consider the trust you have the reporter of such incident: is the source someone you fully trust with your life or with your belongings, is the source someone you take advice and even share secrets with? You need to consider this first.

* Secondly, you need to consider and find out the possiblity of such claims: think if it's really possible that your partner have that kind of a mind to do things like that.

* The last thing you are going to do finally, is to check her behavior and compare it with the nature of your partner, see if she have the mind of doing such a thing and also know if her behavior gives you an expression that she could do such things. If your partner likes talking to the opposite gender every time or if your partner likes making friends with the opposite gender all day, then you see that her behavior can give you a clue as to whether he/she is capable of doing such things.

So after doing all your research and detective works, you have to meet your partner, and then ask your partner about what was being reported to you. Now if your partner says that your friend(the reporter) is mistaken and have no idea of what he is doing, if your partner denied the act, then your partner is innocent and the only thing that can make her guilty is when your friend got a prove for what he/she has reported.

In some cases, your friend might be spying on your relationship and in any case, trying to find one guilt or the other to set your relationship ablaze. So if you hate such kind of things like spying on your relationship, then every thing reported should be marked as untrue unless if your reporter have gotten a prove to what is being reported, and if not, you should trust what your partner have said and let your relationship be built on trust terms. However, you always see that you believe who you trust more, if you really trust your partner and then, you also choose to trust your partner when such things happen, then tell the reporter " pictures! Or it didn't happen" . 

But on the flip side, if you choose to believe your friend, then go on and believe him/her, but you must be ready for a breakup because I see no reason you will continue to stay when you believe your partner have been cheating on you.

But what if you still love your partner?
If you still love your partner despite all the reports, and there is no prove to what he/she have done, then go on and trust her, she is innocent until proven guilty, and when you don't see things falling apart between both of you, or change in your partners action and behaviour towards you, then you need not to trust your friend, trust what your partner have said.

What If There Was a Prove To The Report And it's true, but you still love your partner?
If there was a prove to what happened, and it was true, but your partner already denied it, and you still love her, well you have to take the risk of trusting her again if he/she decides to admit to what have happened and claim guilty, but if your partner is still denying it when you have a prove, the best option is to breakup from that relationship and move on with your life. It will only be killing you inside if you stay in that relationship knowing that your partner have been cheating on you. 

So if your partner accept the guilt after you had a prove, and you still love your partner, then you can give them a second chance to make things right, but this is a risk you are taking, so don't trust them with 100% of your trust again until they get you to trust them wholeheartedly.

So with these little solution tips I have gathered, I hope you find it meaningful and useful if you find yourself in that kind of a situation wg.

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Amazing!! See What Ladies Want From You On a First Date

I have seen a lot of guys making big and silly mistakes on a first date with a lady whom they like or when they are on an outing with their new catch.
One of the biggest thing that can kill your morale on a first date is over excitement.
So even if that lady is proving a hard to get syndrome or not, these little tips will help boast your chances of winning a woman's heart while on a date.

So these are What ladies want from you on a first date .

Note: Whenever am writing articles about finding love on a first date, I always emphasise on the type of personality you have, if you don't have a good personality, a lady will never come to even think of loving you even if you are handsome or whatever. So having a good personality sets you on the right part to practice these below tips.

1) Dress Smart And Cute.
You should ensure a proper dress code which will give that lady a feeling that you are smart and even cute, but then do not get over-dressed or even go to the extent of lending a cloth because you want to entice her and get her to like you more, don't do that.

2) Avoid a Bad Body Smell/Odour:-
When you apply a harsh body spray, or perfume, it will cause her great discomfort which is also a big turn off point because she will want to device an excuse to leave and find herself better comfort.

Also if you Actually Know you have a bad body smell, then try using a body spray that is not so harsh and which she can find comfortable so that you will not cause discomfort to her mood during conversation.

3) Never Talk About Your Past Relationship.
Many girls hate it when you talk about your past relationship while in conversation. And also some ladies will intentionally ask you about your past relationship so that they can know what will be your attitude towards them and your reaction even if they left you.

Well as a smart guy, it is wiser and better never to speak anything about your past relationship, you better say non of it but rather, say more about her and her positive attitude and also make her your priority at that moment. Say things that will impress her and make her have a feeling of belonging and also make her feel cared for.

4) Don't Talk About Your Family Status.
Well this one is common among the less matured guys out there, who like bringing in their family status, wealth e.t.c while discussing with a lady. This will reduce and lower your chances of getting her to like you and you know what that means, a big failure.

5) Avoid Taking Her To Un-conducive Places.
Places like the beer parlour is not conducive while on a date, she will not like it, also an unconducive eatery joint is not good on a date, a noisy environment will limit your conversation because both of you will definitely loose the focus and concentration you should have.

6) Don't Be Late On a Date.
Avoid being late when she request for an outing or when you have already made your plans and have a time set, taking her out to a place very late will cause murmuring and panicking.

7) Appreciate Her.
Always appreciate her for giving you her precious time and even creating out time just to spend the day or even the week with you even if things did not go well as you expected and wanted.

8) Send Her Lovely Messages.
The best time to send a lady lovely text is during the early morning hours and midnight hours. So at these periods in time, always send her lovely messages which suits the time and her mood. If she is sick, send her messages wishing her a quick recovery, if she is sad, send her messages that will put a smile on her face, when she is discouraged and stranded, send her messages that will uplift her and make her gain confidence in her self, if she is feeling like she is a no body, send her messages that will make her see and gain back her self worth.

Well with all these tips I have articulated, I see no reason why she would not want to be with you.

How to know if you are dating a boy instead of a man

So for the ladies, am just dropping these hints for you in order to know and see if your guy is a boy or a real man.
Using a boy here does not mean a teenage, so am referring to someone who does not treat you right, respect you and take your feelings very serious and considerate. When your guy is a boy, you see him always acting like the world is revolving around him alone and feels he is in a world of his own.

On the contrary, a real man knows what is best for his lover, the love, care and respect is present and her emotions and feelings are properly contained.
So to enjoy your relationship at its best this year, here are the list of the easiest signs on..

How to know if you are dating a boy instead of a man

1) He Likes Testing You Constantly.
Because he is not even sure that you love him, so he does that to see and know from your reactions if you really love him. This can be dangerous sometimes because you can be emotionally high, so desist from such a guy who always like testing you.

2) He Is Not Reliable.
When your man is not always there when you need him, then the care is not there and you cannot be looking fine as the relationship goes. This kind of attitude clearly shows that you are rolling with a boy and not a man.

3) He is Selfish.
If he does things at his own interest and never cares about you in any way, then it's good you set your aims at the right direction because you aimed at the wrong guy you needed.

4) He Plays With Your Emotions
When he don't actually care how you feel when something is wrong, or when he does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, then he might end up dumping you someday because how you feel is not of interest to him.

5) He Has No Plans For His Future
When you try asking him his plans in the future, he just gives you an I don't know answer and tells you he has no future plans. Also you can clearly see that he is just living his life like someone filling an empty space in his life, so you should be careful not to fall deeply in love with such a man, lol, did I just say a man? No, he is just a boy.

6) He Still Lives With His Parents.
Well sometimes, guys who still live with their parents all the time do not know much about life and how it treats people because they are still under parental care and so, you will hardly find the qualities of a good man in such guys.

7) He Can't Hold Down a Job
He only likes moving around with friends, partying or sporting, he doesn't care about his financial and your financial needs and he even opt to drop a particular job he does when he feel like it is not comfortable to him.

8) He Gets High Too Often
When you make a little mistake that will not take even 30 seconds to resolve, he instead get high and shouts at you and maybe, he later calms down and you will still be the one to apologise, my dear you might look like a jerk to him who always make simple mistakes as he calls them.

9) Making You Jealous Intentionally
Maybe he likes moving around with female friends, if he usually does things that makes you jealous like holding another girls hand, hugging another girl, hanging out with other girls more than he does with you, and also saying things about other girls. Then chances are that he does not really take you as a potential partner. He is not a man, but a boy.

10) He believes Sex Is Medicine
He just believes that without him having sex with you, then, there is no need for your relationship and whenever he have problems, he just demands sex from you, as a solution to his problems. Now that is really bad.
{Also Read: How To Avoid Men Who Only Want Sex From You .}

So if your boyfriend possess any or even many of the traits listed and explained above, congratulations!! You are dating a boy.

But this is not good though, so I will advice you to watch him as he grows up, or better still you can quit the relationship and find yourself a real man.

Friday, 20 March 2015

Wow!! See Advantages That Men Have In Dating Black Women

It is generally known that some men prefer dating black women over women who are fair in complexion, but the reason behind this is not yet known.
Some say black is beautiful and natural, some say black is original and from God. Lol, all this and all that, well that's by the way. Some also date black women because they come with plenty advantages which will not cause you too much stress as a guy.

Well here are five advantages men have in dating black ladies than dating fair ladies

1) Longer Date:
When dating a black lady, there are chances for a longer date than the fair ones. This is because they don't have that flashy nature that will attract men from any angle and make other men to like them, but because of the flashy nature of the skin of fair ladies, it makes them experience influx of guys any where they are and see different men trying to make friends with her both offline and online.

Now when that fair lady is having too much male friends, it will start affecting her relationship with her man because as time goes by, those guys will find a way to get their phone number and once they have it, they will find it friendly to call her always and even send her love messages both at day and in the middle of the night. If the boyfriend finds out about this, it will cause him to loose confidence in her and start being suspicious which might latter lead to their relationship dying off.
Now when you are dating a black lady, these challenges will not set in at all cost.

2) Financial Sense:
When it comes to body maintenance, black ladies are less expensive. The level of interest fair ladies have on their looks surpasses the interest they have on food they eat. A fair lady can choose to spend her last money on cosmetics and body items to make her look good and choose to leave their stomach empty. This is because the cosmetics they use are more expensive than the ones used by black ladies because of their skin nature. Most times we see many fair ladies who cannot look nice and presentable without applying a cream with a worth of N5,000 naira in the market while many of the black ladies would always be satisfied and even look fine and beautiful with their N100 naira vaseline.

So as a guy, you see that if you are dating a fair lady, both of you will have to share this particular financial burden even indirectly or directly because you must have already known her needs in this aspect.

3) Fear:
Because of the fair nature of your girlfriend, you see different guys out there showing her different kinds of love and affection all in the pretence of friendship, this will cause you insecurity and the fear of your love will always occupy your mind.

As a result of this, when she is not around and close to you, or when you could not reach her through the phone when you wanted or any other means, you start having those wrong thoughts beginning to flow on your mind especially when you know the rate at which many guys offer her invitations or promises.

Well that's one of the reason why your relationship with a fair lady will not last long. In black ladies and women, this also occurs, but at a very low rate.

4) Hardworking:
Black women are always suitable for work anywhere any time and the work they can do out-passed that of the fair women of our generation.

Many fair ladies cannot do any work under the sun because of the nature of their skin and they run from the sun complaining that it tells on their skins.
Because of this effect, anyone could say definately that black ladies are more hardworking than the fair ones.

5) Pride:
Fame is one of the reasons why many fair ladies have pride in them. Once she has male friends running after her in much numbers, she will instantly feel big as well.

The respect due for her man might be affected as a result of that pride which might lead to misunderstanding and eventual break up. Well you already know, this is not so common in black ladies.

So now before you make your choice of choosing a girlfriend, these are some of the things you should consider. You should go for the ones you know you can control and afford so as to avoid regrets in your relationship.

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

How To Avoid Heartbreak In a Relationship

You actually know that not all relationships will lead to marriage.
Most relationships are for a reason and others are for a season, only few are for a life time.


Well don't go around shouting and crying because you had a bad relationship and a break up, if it doesn't work out for you, don't try to kill yourself because that relationship you had was actually for a reason which you must have learnt.

Now here are 11 Tips to avoid heartbreak in a relationship.

1) you should not get carried away with money or beauty, if the inner person in that individual cannot keep you, then even his/her money or beauty cannot keep you in any way.
2) Discover the purpose of the relationship and move on.
3) Don't ever give a man or a woman the totality of your heart, but first, give the totality of your heart to God. Just love that person but put God first always.

4) Love is not everything, don't forget other ingredients like understanding, wisdom, patience, tolerance, and compatibility which are very important in every relationship.

5) Avoid extreme jealousy as it is the quickest act that can trigger a break up.

In your relationship, you should never demand trust from your partner rather, trust should be earned, built or shown.

7) Your heart can easily get broken if the negative signs of the relationship are more than the positive signs, so you better withdraw earlier before its late as regrets set in.

8) Love, care and concern should be the focus of your relationship and not only focused on marriage at last.

9) Many people go to church/mosque but are not in touch with God, so don't go about marrying him/her because you saw him/her in a religious meeting.

10) God will give you only the man of your dream and not the man of your dreams, so if you keep dreaming always about someone, it is possible that he/she is just the man or woman of your dreams and not your dream. So attracting the right person involves you to just discover the purpose of that particular relationship.

With these quick tips, I tell you that you can avoid heartbreak in all your relationships, just put them into consideration and give them a try.

Sunday, 1 March 2015

Signs To Know That Your Relationship Is Over Or Should Be Over

Have you ever heard of this phrase " I miss your smile, but I miss mine more " ?
In this life, there are moments when you have to make the hardest break up decision. This is a moment when you finally give up and admit that your relationship isn't working, it is when you realise that those fantasies you have been wishing for are never going to be fulfilled.
This decision to break up comes not because you have failed, but because it didn't work and its finally time to end it.

So when is a break up something you must do? When do you decide that you love that person but you love yourself more?
Any person that has ever had a breakup will always tell you that "He/she knew long before it ended, that its going to be over. So at this point where you already know that your relationship can't work out any longer, then that is the place where you have to do it. And one of the markers of this point in time when a breakup is necessary is when you have the sensation of " I miss your smile, but I miss mine more ".

Well before you go on a breakup and end that relationship, choose to honour yourself and your intuition. A lot of excuses and settling for less has already been done more than you deserve and you should delay any longer. But if you find it hard looking for reason to breakup or knowing it when that person is no more in love with you, then here are.. signs to know that your relationship is over or should be.

1) You start making excuses for him/her.

2) You feel like what you are getting from him/her is less than what you deserve.

3) You stop wanting to be your best self.

4) You stop putting energy in your appearance ( i.e makeup, shaving e.t.c), and it is not because you feel comfortable, but just because you don't care and feel anymore.

5) You stop wanting to touch him/her.

6. You start giving excuses to why you can't have sex or kiss at that moment he/she wanted.

7. Everything and everyone else starts to be more important to you than spending time with him/her.

Toxic relationships can be completely debilitating. They can bring down your career, force a wedge between your friendships and even destroy you completely, what you deserve, who you are and your ability to take care of yourself will no more be relevant to you.
You may be thinking and convincing yourself that the relationship is not that bad, so why would you want to break up? Well let me ask you: Why do you feel so awful, alone, insecure, scared, worthless, stupid or small?
You have to know that a healthy relationship will never make you feel that way. When you get into an unhealthy relationship, you feel that it isn't serving you, its just hurting you, your ego is non existent, and you just feel you are a different version of yourself when you are with him/her. You feel like you have two personalities. (1) The strong and fun person who your friends and family see, and (2) The half person who your friends and others cuts you down to be .

In all these challenges, you have to be the one to make a decision as a choice to step out and move on.
Though its not an easy one, but if you really want to find true and real love, you have no other choice than to move on.

Now after you have made your choice, you have to take the steps to follow through without severe pain and sorrows of the past. That step is the means of removing yourself from the triggers that always tempt you to go back. After that, you have to Reset, Rebound and find Love in yourself first, then you will also find someone who is more better and more interesting to you.

A break up, a divorce, loosing a job or even feeling seriously down can actually ground you and rough you up a bit, but all these happenings drops you a lesson which will make you stronger and wiser in the next adventure.
Life is about experiencing the both side of it which are the Good and the Bad sides.

 

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