Be The Man: What You Must Do To Maintain Control In Your Relationship

I come across a lot of people asking a question like "How can I be the man in my relationship" and I use to wonder what they mean by that. Then with time, I discovered many things about this question will help you also to maintain that role of leadership and control in every relationship you go into.

This is what many people have always want to get answers to, but you see, originally, when you are into a relationship as a man, then there you go, you are already the man in your relationship, but for you to continue being the man in that relationship, there are certain things you must do so that your girlfriend or your wife do not turn into the one controlling you and the relationship.

Generally, when you can't make your own decisions final in a relationship, then you are not in control, if you does any thing she asks you to do, then you are not in control, and if you don't give straight forward answers to certain situations, you might end up loosing control and becoming the dog in your relationship.

Okay now, so how can I be the man in my relationship. When you try to always be loving, very sweet and attentive to your wife or girlfriend, you will end up selling yourself into her own hands and that will utterly destroy your relationship. so always be who you are, maintain your real self as you go into any relationship and not turning yourself into a respectful, attentive and obedient house dog.

Here are Things You Must Do To Maintain Control In Your Relationship.

1) Learn To Say No!
For a long period of time, you have been doing everything she asked you to do, going everywhere she wants you to go, eating anything she wants you to eat. And you are being obedient because you don't want to miss any opportunity to make her happy. You just do things to ensure you please her even if it will cost you your whole money and time. Hell no! That's so wrong of you, that's why she treats you like a dog in your relationship. And you must stop it before it destroys your relationship. And if you are not doing it, then don't try doing it just because you feel like doing all those things will make her happy.

Start Saying "No!!" to her, start saying no from every small thing to the biggest, but make sure you choose the areas of application carefully. You don't expect yourself to say No to having $ex with her because you want to be in control (lol), that's not right, it's rather another thing else(showing displeasure). So you must learn the places and points in time to say No.

If your wife or girlfriend wants you to buy her something which you know you can't afford, then say No to her. Or if she want to cook a dinner you hated so much insisting that you must take it, say No to her. Now think of this, can you just imagine your wife or girlfriend ordering you to get her the TV remote? Say No immediately and insist that she should take it her self, unless if the situation warrants, for example when she is Pregnant as your wife, you can help her do that, but for those of us still with our girlfriend, this is a hot one for you. Also imagine your girlfriend telling you to "Get dressed, we are going to my mom's house". Is that really necessary? You must learn to say no to these pivotal things which can turn you into a dick head in your relationship.

2) Create and Form Your Own Opinions.
This one is a natural step and it occurs to nature. You must know that not every situation in a relationship can be handled with a simple "No", Questions like " What do you think we should take for dinner", it will not make any sense if you just shout No to questions like this, it rather sounds stupid. But also at the same time, avoid giving answers which will turn you into a slave to whosoever that received the answer to the question. For example, answers like "well it's up to you" will actually tell her to do prepare whatever she likes which you must accept because that was the option you gave her. Such phrases will get her to be in control of your actions and your life too

So in other to make sure you maintain control in situations like this, you must learn to form your own opinions which favours both of you and an opinion which you think is the best. Don't be in a hurry to give out a reply, be relaxed and calm, don't just rush. Then think about what is been asked, and come out with certain answer which you know will benefit the both of you. When you are sure you have completed the above steps, then you are ready to move on.

3) Be The Leader.
This one here does not mean you should dominate her and get her to do things your own way. You must be cooperative in an effective and efficient way, and make sure you show her signs of equality between the both of you. As the leader, you have to make sure you take responsibility of everything both good and bad.

4) Protect Her
This does not mean that you should confront anyone who tries to harm her physically or tackle anything that will harm her physically. You should be able to handle and take care of arising problems, or take care of things before they become bigger problems. Don't expect your wife or girlfriend to handle things her own way because she might not be able to take care of some things that may arise, so you must be there to always protect those things from her and also avoid those problems from coming in.

5) Be The Provider
You should make sure that you provide for her needs, now not only her financial needs, but also provide emotionally. When you allow your shortcomings to be carried along with the loads of her emotional burdens. Make sure you get things done, and not allowing her to do those things. When you allow her to do things, she will take responsibility of those things, then use that opportunity to pickup your slack and even act as your mother.

6) Deliver Everything but Don't Promise Anything
Do not tell your wife or girlfriend of your upcoming plans which you know will change things. You can inform her about things that also concerns her and which you think she should know. But you should not let her know that you are making changes in your life. When you let her know when maybe you want to start something new which will bring progress to your life, she will probably increase her demands and her standards which you might find hard to fulfil but nevertheless, you will always want to get those things for her. This will tie you down to her and cause you more setback.

Changes like this must be done without telling a single soul, not even your wife, or your girlfriend, it must be discretely done. And when you do it this way, you gradually start achieving your goals, and she will gradually notice your progress. This will get her to respect you more, love you more. And she will appreciate you wholeheartedly which earns you her trust.
When you keep things discrete until done, other people will notice it when you start achieving your new goals.

You should create more confidence in your relationship and limit that which you have in other aspects of your life. This will turn you into the man other people want to be like. So for you to become a better person, you must be the "man" in your relationship.