In any relationship that comes into existence, there must be trust, and when trust is absent, then that relationship will never work because a vital component tends to be missing in that particular relationship. So let's talk about some trust situations and how to get over them in the long run.
* Like in the case of one friend of mine, he narrated his story to me about " his girl who have always lied to him before they started to be lovers, and immediately they got into a relationship with each other, he now find it hard trusting her because of his past experience with her, knowing her abilities to lie over many things. So because of this, he just finds it hard trusting her .
Solution: Now in this case, what could you have done if you are the one? Or are you also in the same situation described above? Now read this.
If you really love your partner and you still want to be together with her or with him, don't you think discussing about it together with an open mind will help to lessen the heavy load of distrust you have in your partner? Lying to you before the relationship started is one different situation, and so you have to know why she has been lying to you before your relationship kicked off. Let's say it this way, maybe lying to you before the relationship was because it's her own idea and way of not allowing you to go away or kick against what she has lied to you about.
So you don't actually know her own reasons for such lies, and by discussing it with her, you get to hear from her own perspective and think from her own points of reason.
This process will allow you to have a proper and clear understanding of the situation and it will help you to handle it the right way.
To bring this part to close, it is absolutely true that everyone lies, everybody lies in a relationship but it depends on the effect of that lie to your relationship, so if the lie being spoken turns out harmful to your relationship, then you use the solution above to sort it out and know if your relationship can still stand, but if the lie being spoken has proven to be harmless to your relationship, then the best thing to do is to let go of those lies and rebuild your trust once again.
Its just a matter of giving the relationship one last chance by taking a risk to build back the trust you have in your partner, so any other thing you do apart from this is just a total waste of time, so better just give it a shot, just a try.
* A Close friend of yours reported to you that he/she saw your partner hanging out with an ex, having a very romantic dinner with another person,or exchanging lovely and romantic text messages with someone, but when you asked your partner about it, your partner flatly denied being there or doing it.
Solution:
This might be a though one for you, and if you are in this kind of a situation, what will you do? Who will you believe? Your friend or your partner? Read what you have to do now.
* Firstly, you have to consider the trust you have the reporter of such incident: is the source someone you fully trust with your life or with your belongings, is the source someone you take advice and even share secrets with? You need to consider this first.
* Secondly, you need to consider and find out the possiblity of such claims: think if it's really possible that your partner have that kind of a mind to do things like that.
* The last thing you are going to do finally, is to check her behavior and compare it with the nature of your partner, see if she have the mind of doing such a thing and also know if her behavior gives you an expression that she could do such things. If your partner likes talking to the opposite gender every time or if your partner likes making friends with the opposite gender all day, then you see that her behavior can give you a clue as to whether he/she is capable of doing such things.
So after doing all your research and detective works, you have to meet your partner, and then ask your partner about what was being reported to you. Now if your partner says that your friend(the reporter) is mistaken and have no idea of what he is doing, if your partner denied the act, then your partner is innocent and the only thing that can make her guilty is when your friend got a prove for what he/she has reported.
In some cases, your friend might be spying on your relationship and in any case, trying to find one guilt or the other to set your relationship ablaze. So if you hate such kind of things like spying on your relationship, then every thing reported should be marked as untrue unless if your reporter have gotten a prove to what is being reported, and if not, you should trust what your partner have said and let your relationship be built on trust terms. However, you always see that you believe who you trust more, if you really trust your partner and then, you also choose to trust your partner when such things happen, then tell the reporter " pictures! Or it didn't happen" .
* A Close friend of yours reported to you that he/she saw your partner hanging out with an ex, having a very romantic dinner with another person,or exchanging lovely and romantic text messages with someone, but when you asked your partner about it, your partner flatly denied being there or doing it.
Solution:
This might be a though one for you, and if you are in this kind of a situation, what will you do? Who will you believe? Your friend or your partner? Read what you have to do now.
* Firstly, you have to consider the trust you have the reporter of such incident: is the source someone you fully trust with your life or with your belongings, is the source someone you take advice and even share secrets with? You need to consider this first.
* Secondly, you need to consider and find out the possiblity of such claims: think if it's really possible that your partner have that kind of a mind to do things like that.
* The last thing you are going to do finally, is to check her behavior and compare it with the nature of your partner, see if she have the mind of doing such a thing and also know if her behavior gives you an expression that she could do such things. If your partner likes talking to the opposite gender every time or if your partner likes making friends with the opposite gender all day, then you see that her behavior can give you a clue as to whether he/she is capable of doing such things.
So after doing all your research and detective works, you have to meet your partner, and then ask your partner about what was being reported to you. Now if your partner says that your friend(the reporter) is mistaken and have no idea of what he is doing, if your partner denied the act, then your partner is innocent and the only thing that can make her guilty is when your friend got a prove for what he/she has reported.
In some cases, your friend might be spying on your relationship and in any case, trying to find one guilt or the other to set your relationship ablaze. So if you hate such kind of things like spying on your relationship, then every thing reported should be marked as untrue unless if your reporter have gotten a prove to what is being reported, and if not, you should trust what your partner have said and let your relationship be built on trust terms. However, you always see that you believe who you trust more, if you really trust your partner and then, you also choose to trust your partner when such things happen, then tell the reporter " pictures! Or it didn't happen" .
But on the flip side, if you choose to believe your friend, then go on and believe him/her, but you must be ready for a breakup because I see no reason you will continue to stay when you believe your partner have been cheating on you.
But what if you still love your partner?
If you still love your partner despite all the reports, and there is no prove to what he/she have done, then go on and trust her, she is innocent until proven guilty, and when you don't see things falling apart between both of you, or change in your partners action and behaviour towards you, then you need not to trust your friend, trust what your partner have said.
What If There Was a Prove To The Report And it's true, but you still love your partner?
If there was a prove to what happened, and it was true, but your partner already denied it, and you still love her, well you have to take the risk of trusting her again if he/she decides to admit to what have happened and claim guilty, but if your partner is still denying it when you have a prove, the best option is to breakup from that relationship and move on with your life. It will only be killing you inside if you stay in that relationship knowing that your partner have been cheating on you.
But what if you still love your partner?
If you still love your partner despite all the reports, and there is no prove to what he/she have done, then go on and trust her, she is innocent until proven guilty, and when you don't see things falling apart between both of you, or change in your partners action and behaviour towards you, then you need not to trust your friend, trust what your partner have said.
What If There Was a Prove To The Report And it's true, but you still love your partner?
If there was a prove to what happened, and it was true, but your partner already denied it, and you still love her, well you have to take the risk of trusting her again if he/she decides to admit to what have happened and claim guilty, but if your partner is still denying it when you have a prove, the best option is to breakup from that relationship and move on with your life. It will only be killing you inside if you stay in that relationship knowing that your partner have been cheating on you.
So if your partner accept the guilt after you had a prove, and you still love your partner, then you can give them a second chance to make things right, but this is a risk you are taking, so don't trust them with 100% of your trust again until they get you to trust them wholeheartedly.
So with these little solution tips I have gathered, I hope you find it meaningful and useful if you find yourself in that kind of a situation wg.
So with these little solution tips I have gathered, I hope you find it meaningful and useful if you find yourself in that kind of a situation wg.
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