A lot of things have been happening in many family cycles and today, i will like to draw your attention to this particular situation where parents take a lot of wrong steps towards training their children in recent times.
This is the reason why we see lots of children living a scary or shocking kind of live which will make you want to know their parents and ask about the ways in which they do train their children.
Lets just say, this is a new dispensation, and the challenges we have today surpasses those our parents had in the past. Yet, they forget to consider that fact and try training their children in their own old ways. That's just one of those mistakes which they always make while training their children.
Well let us consider and see some of those mistakes parents make in child training.
Inconsistency in speech.
When raising up kids, you see a lot of parents making promises to their kids, but never fulfils them, or give rules and commands to their kids, but they will abandon the kids and not ensuring that they do what they are being asked to do. Also parents make a lot of mistake while in argument in front of their kids, instead of backing each other up, they just pick their own sides, this will result in the child also picking side and backing one, either the father or the mother.
This is not supposed to be so, when ever you make promises to your kids as parents, your duty in their up keeping and learning there is to make sure you fulfil that promise because if you do not, you are probably teaching your kid how to be a promise breaker or someone who cannot keep up to his words.
Also same with what you tell them to do or the rules you give them, you must ensure that they are obedient to your words and rules, by so doing, they will not disobey anyone outside the family also because they have been adapted to such acts.
When it comes to the argument aspect of you as parents, yes there must always be arguments and you must probably disagree with each other at some points, but when ever you want to do that, you do it away from the kids and not in their presence so that you don't get them playing one parent against the other.
Many times, we see majority of parents to be inconsistent with their kids and the major reason is tiredness or stress.
Maybe they become too tired of handling their kids and rather than always getting enough rest, sleep and figuring out on how to be consistent with the kids, they just give in to the act of nagging and forget about the effects all these will have on their kids.
Also, you see a lot of parents being overstrict, harsh and non-tolerant with their kids just because they have had a bad work day or they are feeling stressful because of work.
It is not supposed to be so, all you need to do is to take some rest and try not to be aggressive all the time while at home with the kids.
Showing conditional love.
This is one of the great mistakes made by parents while in the act of raising their children.
Many parents are seen loving their children only when they live up to their expectations and when they have what they want from the children.
Parents today choose to withdraw their love from their children because they don't act the way their parents want, or simply because the kid is not meeting their expectations.
They tend to control their children and make them do what they want, or what others want them to do, and when that child is seen not doing what he was told to do, the parents withdraw their love from the child and only show him love when he has meet their own needs.
It is not supposed to be so with parents, as a teacher to your kids, though you correct them and punish them whenever they don't act the way you want, showing them love unconditionally is what you must do without limitations.
You are not the one to decide how your kid should live his life, though the child is yours to toil with in the mean time, but as soon as the child starts to turn into a grown up person, then you will probably be seeing a new person whom you had not effected with your attitude towards him/her when they were just kids.
Not trusting the abilities of their child.
A lot of parents do make this common mistake too while raising their children.
Many parents tend to protect and cover their children from the difficult aspects of life, thinking that they cant reason and walk their way through those problems.
Parents do think that when they allow their children to taste many aspects and situations of life, they allow them to know many things in their brain and eventually reason the wrong way. But they are wrong actually.
Parents should focus on helping their children realize their dreams in life and allow them make their decisions, and also teaching them how to make the right choices by teaching them how to solve and analyze critical conditions in their life. As parents, don't force your kids to do what you want, rather, teach them how to weight the both sides of life and make a choice of their own.
There is also one of the conditions that parents use in raising their children which is the worst of all kind of conditional love.
I have seen some parents allowing religion to haunt and hurt their relationship with their kids.
Maybe because the child does not live according to the way religion wants them to live, they force their children to do so and show them lots of hardship until they accept to live according to the standard of the religion.
You can not force a child to repent and change to what you want, that's though love because, though you love them which is why you are forcing them, its not favouring them and that makes it though for them to adapt and live up to.
Its better you choose your kids and shun any religion that suggests you to force your children into doing what is right.
I also see a lot of parents talking to their children anyhow, rebuking them and comparing them to other children who they know are better than them.
Every child is not born with the same skill and ability, and just because another child is skillful and intelligent does not mean that your child can be capable of such better abilities.
Everyone is born with different abilities and skills, and as children grow into youths and adults, they soon realize theirs.
So don't go hard on your children, with time you will see them realizing the areas their ability lies on.
These are some of the things parents should be careful of while training their children, and if as parents you are found guilty of any of these things, then consider using the solution and right protocols being mention so as to have a happy life with your children.
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