What motivated me towards writing this article was because of a question a lady asked me today and seek for an advice in order to handle and take care of her situation.
The lady is a student at the Federal Polytechnic in One of the states in Nigeria, and she told me that "a female departmental friend of mine introduced me to a man she claimed to be her boyfriend, who she meet online, and now, the man is telling me that he loves me, they have not meet before, and now he said he have dumped her, that its me that he now loves, so i need an advice on what do do".
After she narrated the first story line to me, i was like, this is really serious and uncalled for, but wait! So serious? No, but depending on the way she took it.
The lady here found it hard making a decision because he now loves her and she have thoughts that are so complicated to express.
You see, in this world we live today, everyone is entitled to his own decisions and whatever you decide to do today, it always have its effects in the latter end of the story.
Am going to take an insight based on my dialogue with her and explain more secrets to you about finding the right partner for yourself.
The feelings must be there
After she told me about her situation, the first thing i did was to ask her if she currently have feelings for the guy, to which she replied "No".
Now the question is, would you go on to date someone who you don't have feelings for?
Dating someone you don't have any feelings for is another thing entirely, and its taking its concept outside the real world of true love. Every relationship that stands today is built on true love which comes from the feelings within the heart. So you cant just go on to date someone you don't have any feelings for because without it, there is nothing common which can create any potential bond between both of you.
But once you know you have feelings for someone who also profess that he loves you, then you don't have any problem with this, you just have to follow your heart, know what your heart needs from him and then, put everything into action and feel the love flowing between the both of you.
Material things are not used as strongholds or access fee.
There was something i observed about the lady in our topic today, the lady was a kind of materially minded and that was why she found it hard making a decision.
I asked her if the guy was wealthy and handsome, to which she replied that "all i know is that he lives in Holland and promised to come to see her on his vacation".
When she gave me that sort of reply, it just downed on me that she is just materially minded on the guy, and considering his wealth, she might decide to take advantage of it on him.
There are two phenomena's here,
(1)She does not have any feelings for him,
(2)He is rich and even lives in Holland.
Since she does not have feelings for him, then that is just enough to get her say no to him that she don't have any feeling for him and then, he would probably just let go because there is no need loving someone who does not have feelings for you.
But on the other hand, she is taking a view on his riches and her advantages if she were to be with him, that made it hard for her to decide on one thing and just forgone the other.
Now as someone looking for a potential lover, when that feeling is not there, then every other thing is useless and would not count because its only that feeling that is capable of transforming each other's heart to be one.
If you find yourself loving what someone has, his wealth and riches, then you are just there for those things which he has and not because you truly love that person.
True love does not account on riches and wealth, but the mutual feelings between the both of you. If you find yourself loving someone without having any feelings for him, then you are just there for your own material benefits.
Trust, understanding and honesty.
So it happened that i asked her what she ever want from a man who she would call a lover.
Then she said all she want is for that guy to be understanding, trustworthy and honest.
Now you see this, that a trustworthy and an honest man would never do what that man did, you cant trust a man who dumped your friend who is a lover to him and picked u as his new lover because he thinks you are more beautiful, can you trust such a man with your love?
That man have not been a honest man, he did not actually love her as he said, he only loved her beauty and appearance, and he would probably dump both of them if he sees another lady more beautiful than the two.
Now when you want to get a potential lover, you must be sure that he is a trustworthy and an honest man, if not, then you would actually be in for a shocker because many things will happen in the course of your relationship with an untrustworthy and a non honest man.
Physical attractiveness and beauty is not a criteria.
Now from the look of what happened in her story line, anyone can understand that he was just acting based on beauty and attractiveness, if not, he would not just dump his lover without any reason and start confessing love to another lady that happens to be her friend.
True love is straight from the heart, and not from the faces, looks, swags and all those amusements. When someone loves you from the heart, then beauty or handsomeness is never a standard for finding the perfect match.
When someone says he loves you from the inside of his heart, then the feelings are already there and no factor matters anymore because your love is not been controlled by looks, swags, etc.
So these little tips i have gathered for you will be updated every time as soon as we find more answers to this situation.
For the mean time, we hope you will find this article helpful and implement all strategies been laid down in written for you all.
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