List of the best marital gifts you can give to your spouse after marriage

Many couples who get wedded newly daily are always filled with expectations and desires from their new spouse and partner of life.
For both men and women, these expectations comes in different forms and what you want from your spouse after marriage might be different from what you want from from him or her after the marriage.

Before you talk of giving your new spouse any marital gift, you must first consider their type of person and what they possibly want in their life after the marriage. Lets take a look at a list of the best gifts you can give to your spouse after marriage.

* For the woman: your virginity.
In some men, your virginity as a woman is the best gift you can offer them after marriage. It gives your man that joy and satisfaction that you have never been with any man in your life and you were strong enough to hold on to your virginity until when your marriage comes.

But also, you must know that some men don't really cherish your virginity after the marriage. When some men observe that they are married to a virgin, they have that sad look and feeling inside them. Here is why.

Many men today want to be with a woman who is filled of lots of experience in sexual activities and who can fully satisfy them and give them the whole pleasures of sex.
So also to other men, giving them a lot of satisfaction in bed can be a nice gift, and when you are a virgin, you might not be capable of giving them that satisfaction because you are new to the whole process.

Sharing common interest.
This is also a nice gift to offer your new spouse in your new marriage. Maybe before you got married, both of you had different interests and have nothing similar that you share.
She likes watching hockey games, you only like football games, she likes taking glossaries, you only like snacks, she likes to sleep early, you only sleep when its late at night, she likes to read, you like going out every morning to see friends, you like partying, she likes to stay at home all times, etc.

All those things notes out the fact that you have no common interest. But now after your marriage, changing those habits can be a surprising gift to your spouse, start showing interest in what your spouse likes doing or what your spouse likes to have. When you do that, you observe that both of you will even enjoy doing or having the same thing at a time.

Change the name you call her.
Before you were married, maybe you were fond of calling him or her by her first name or nickname and both of you had no problem with that.
When you now get married, changing the name you call your spouse can be a big gift to him/her which signifies a change of state.

Its important that you consider doing this after you get married because if you continue calling your spouse by their real name, people might consider it to be a sign of disrespect as the society deems it.

Giving up everything for your spouse.
There are many other gifts you can offer your spouse in the your new marriage life and those things consist of your daily activities, your attitudes, bad habits, irrelevant activities and friends are some other things which you can give up as a gift for your new love life.
You can decide to get over anything that can come between the both of you in your new marriage relationship.

Marriage is a great institution which changes the single state which someone finds himself into an engage state in which someone start caring about things that matters to two set of partners said to be couples in love.
So when you get married, and when planning to get married, you should consider these options and list for the best gifts to give to your new spouse after marriage.

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How to win the trust of your love partner in your relationship

In many relationships today, trust have been a hard component to keep active and as a result, many people who go into dating finds it hard to earn even a single trust from their partners.

In this article, you will learn many natural methods you can use in getting your lover to trust you in the course of your relationship.
But what type of trust are we talking about?
You already know that sometimes in a relationship, you can trust your lover with negativity and also, you can trust your lover with positivity.

When you always tell your lover lies about the things you do, your lover will never trust you and believe in you, but when you are credible for truth and honesty in your relationship, trust is guaranteed.

But in most relationships today, many find it hard trusting their lover and misinterpret most of their actions the wrong way and that is why you must know necessary measures you can use in earning the trust of your lover in your relationship.
Now having known where this topic is taking you to, lets take a look at some ways to earn your lover's trust in your relationship.

1) Keep Clean Eye Contact at the Right Times.
When speaking with your lover or when trying to explain a situation to him/her, keeping a good eye contact with your lover shows that you are straight without having any thing to hide from him or her. But when you can't make eye contact with your lover while speaking, he or she will rather give you a fair look than a trust mark.

2) Be Vulnerable:
Now you don't have to be vulnerable at all times, you should show vulnerability at moments when its due and by so doing, it shows that you are human and you deserve support from him or her when you are being attacked physically or emotionally.

3) Don't Be Deceitful.
You see, when you are that kind of person who loves playing smart on your man or woman in order to get what you want, then you don't stand any chance to be trusted because that shows you can do anything bad to get what you want or get away from anything that makes you vulnerable. But when you display those qualities of a trustworthy partner, you will surely be trusted by your lover in your relationship.

4) Be Hard Working all Time.
A lazy man or woman is not someone who can be trusted, so you make sure you work very hard towards everything in life and when your partner see from your actions that you are hard working, he or she will trust you more. Also, be smart while being hard working so you don't act like you are " trying too hard" to get over your partner's expectations.

5 Don't Be Selfish.
When you do things based on only your own interest and not for the interest of you and your lover, he or she will find it hard to trust you. While doing things, you have to also think about the position of your lover when such things matters to him or her and make sure you also do those things based on the interest of your lover.

Don't make decisions by yourself where you know you are taking a decision which affects your partner too, think from your partner's prospectives and make sure your partner is well informed before taking any final decisions.

6) Be Honest
When you are honest with the love of your life, that will surely earn you their trust, even when you find it inconvenient being honest. When you don't participate in evil doings and things that are not honestly done, then your lover will surely confide in you and will see you as someone who is trustworthy and because of that, you will probably gain his or her trust.

7) Avoid Gossiping
When everyone else is participating in a gossip, don't try to join them because they are all doing it, try to abstain from such gossiping acts and don't give an ear to their gossips.

8) Be A Good Secret Keeper.
When you are been told a secret by your lover, you should try not to make it public or get it exposed. when your lover trusts you, he or she will tell you his or her life secrets and when done, your lover expect it to be just between the both of you and don't expect it to reach to other people's ears. So when you know your lover's secret, keeping them safe with you will make them to trust you more and more.

9) Be Confident And Dress Well.
Confidence can be shown by making looking in the eyes of your lover while talking, and showing boldness in speech without fear, also when you have an open body language, it tells your lover that you are actually clean and have nothing to hide from him or her. this act can earn you a lot of trust.

So when next you want to earn the trust of your partner in your relationship, these tips above will be enough to get you started and see you achieving your goal on getting your partner to trust you in your relationship.

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Parental love and care - Mistakes you should never make while training your kids

A lot of things have been happening in many family cycles and today, i will like to draw your attention to this particular situation where parents take a lot of wrong steps towards training their children in recent times.

This is the reason why we see lots of children living a scary or shocking kind of live which will make you want to know their parents and ask about the ways in which they do train their children.

Lets just say, this is a new dispensation, and the challenges we have today surpasses those our parents had in the past. Yet, they forget to consider that fact and try training their children in their own old ways. That's just one of those mistakes which they always make while training their children.
Well let us consider and see some of those mistakes parents make in child training.

Inconsistency in speech.
When raising up kids, you see a lot of parents making promises to their kids, but never fulfils them, or give rules and commands to their kids, but they will abandon the kids and not ensuring that they do what they are being asked to do. Also parents make a lot of mistake while in argument in front of their kids, instead of backing each other up, they just pick their own sides, this will result in the child also picking side and backing one, either the father or the mother.

This is not supposed to be so, when ever you make promises to your kids as parents, your duty in their up keeping and learning there is to make sure you fulfil that promise because if you do not, you are probably teaching your kid how to be a promise breaker or someone who cannot keep up to his words.
Also same with what you tell them to do or the rules you give them, you must ensure that they are obedient to your words and rules, by so doing, they will not disobey anyone outside the family also because they have been adapted to such acts.

When it comes to the argument aspect of you as parents, yes there must always be arguments and you must probably disagree with each other at some points, but when ever you want to do that, you do it away from the kids and not in their presence so that you don't get them playing one parent against the other.

Many times, we see majority of parents to be inconsistent with their kids and the major reason is tiredness or stress.
Maybe they become too tired of handling their kids and rather than always getting enough rest, sleep and figuring out on how to be consistent with the kids, they just give in to the act of nagging and forget about the effects all these will have on their kids.

Also, you see a lot of parents being overstrict, harsh and non-tolerant with their kids just because they have had a bad work day or they are feeling stressful because of work.
It is not supposed to be so, all you need to do is to take some rest and try not to be aggressive all the time while at home with the kids.

Showing conditional love.
This is one of the great mistakes made by parents while in the act of raising their children.
Many parents are seen loving their children only when they live up to their expectations and when they have what they want from the children.

Parents today choose to withdraw their love from their children because they don't act the way their parents want, or simply because the kid is not meeting their expectations.
They tend to control their children and make them do what they want, or what others want them to do, and when that child is seen not doing what he was told to do, the parents withdraw their love from the child and only show him love when he has meet their own needs.

It is not supposed to be so with parents, as a teacher to your kids, though you correct them and punish them whenever they don't act the way you want, showing them love unconditionally is what you must do without limitations.
You are not the one to decide how your kid should live his life, though the child is yours to toil with in the mean time, but as soon as the child starts to turn into a grown up person, then you will probably be seeing a new person whom you had not effected with your attitude towards him/her when they were just kids.

Not trusting the abilities of their child.
A lot of parents do make this common mistake too while raising their children.
Many parents tend to protect and cover their children from the difficult aspects of life, thinking that they cant reason and walk their way through those problems.

Parents do think that when they allow their children to taste many aspects and situations of life, they allow them to know many things in their brain and eventually reason the wrong way. But they are wrong actually.

Parents should focus on helping their children realize their dreams in life and allow them make their decisions, and also teaching them how to make the right choices by teaching them how to solve and analyze critical conditions in their life. As parents, don't force your kids to do what you want, rather, teach them how to weight the both sides of life and make a choice of their own.

There is also one of the conditions that parents use in raising their children which is the worst of all kind of conditional love.
I have seen some parents allowing religion to haunt and hurt their relationship with their kids.
Maybe because the child does not live according to the way religion wants them to live, they force their children to do so and show them lots of hardship until they accept to live according to the standard of the religion.

You can not force a child to repent and change to what you want, that's though love because, though you love them which is why you are forcing them, its not favouring them and that makes it though for them to adapt and live up to.
Its better you choose your kids and shun any religion that suggests you to force your children into doing what is right.

I also see a lot of parents talking to their children anyhow, rebuking them and comparing them to other children who they know are better than them.
Every child is not born with the same skill and ability, and just because another child is skillful and intelligent does not mean that your child can be capable of such better abilities.

Everyone is born with different abilities and skills, and as children grow into youths and adults, they soon realize theirs.
So don't go hard on your children, with time you will see them realizing the areas their ability lies on.

These are some of the things parents should be careful of while training their children, and if as parents you are found guilty of any of these things, then consider using the solution and right protocols being mention so as to have a happy life with your children.

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Finding a true lover who can be a potential partner to you

What motivated me towards writing this article was because of a question a lady asked me today and seek for an advice in order to handle and take care of her situation.

The lady is a student at the Federal Polytechnic in One of the states in Nigeria, and she told me that "a female departmental friend of mine introduced me to a man she claimed to be her boyfriend, who she meet online, and now, the man is telling me that he loves me, they have not meet before, and now he said he have dumped her, that its me that he now loves, so i need an advice on what do do".

After she narrated the first story line to me, i was like, this is really serious and uncalled for, but wait! So serious? No, but depending on the way she took it.
The lady here found it hard making a decision because he now loves her and she have thoughts that are so complicated to express.

You see, in this world we live today, everyone is entitled to his own decisions and whatever you decide to do today, it always have its effects in the latter end of the story.
Am going to take an insight based on my dialogue with her and explain more secrets to you about finding the right partner for yourself.

The feelings must be there
After she told me about her situation, the first thing i did was to ask her if she currently have feelings for the guy, to which she replied "No".
Now the question is, would you go on to date someone who you don't have feelings for?

Dating someone you don't have any feelings for is another thing entirely, and its taking its concept outside the real world of true love. Every relationship that stands today is built on true love which comes from the feelings within the heart. So you cant just go on to date someone you don't have any feelings for because without it, there is nothing common which can create any potential bond between both of you.

But once you know you have feelings for someone who also profess that he loves you, then you don't have any problem with this, you just have to follow your heart, know what your heart needs from him and then, put everything into action and feel the love flowing between the both of you.

Material things are not used as strongholds or access fee.
There was something i observed about the lady in our topic today, the lady was a kind of materially minded and that was why she found it hard making a decision.
I asked her if the guy was wealthy and handsome, to which she replied that "all i know is that he lives in Holland and promised to come to see her on his vacation".

When she gave me that sort of reply, it just downed on me that she is just materially minded on the guy, and considering his wealth, she might decide to take advantage of it on him.

There are two phenomena's here,
(1)She does not have any feelings for him,
(2)He is rich and even lives in Holland.
Since she does not have feelings for him, then that is just enough to get her say no to him that she don't have any feeling for him and then, he would probably just let go because there is no need loving someone who does not have feelings for you.

But on the other hand, she is taking a view on his riches and her advantages if she were to be with him, that made it hard for her to decide on one thing and just forgone the other.

Now as someone looking for a potential lover, when that feeling is not there, then every other thing is useless and would not count because its only that feeling that is capable of transforming each other's heart to be one.

If you find yourself loving what someone has, his wealth and riches, then you are just there for those things which he has and not because you truly love that person.

True love does not account on riches and wealth, but the mutual feelings between the both of you. If you find yourself loving someone without having any feelings for him, then you are just there for your own material benefits.

Trust, understanding and honesty.
So it happened that i asked her what she ever want from a man who she would call a lover.
Then she said all she want is for that guy to be understanding, trustworthy and honest.

Now you see this, that a trustworthy and an honest man would never do what that man did, you cant trust a man who dumped your friend who is a lover to him and picked u as his new lover because he thinks you are more beautiful, can you trust such a man with your love?

That man have not been a honest man, he did not actually love her as he said, he only loved her beauty and appearance, and he would probably dump both of them if he sees another lady more beautiful than the two.

Now when you want to get a potential lover, you must be sure that he is a trustworthy and an honest man, if not, then you would actually be in for a shocker because many things will happen in the course of your relationship with an untrustworthy and a non honest man.

Physical attractiveness and beauty is not a criteria.
Now from the look of what happened in her story line, anyone can understand that he was just acting based on beauty and attractiveness, if not, he would not just dump his lover without any reason and start confessing love to another lady that happens to be her friend.

True love is straight from the heart, and not from the faces, looks, swags and all those amusements. When someone loves you from the heart, then beauty or handsomeness is never a standard for finding the perfect match.

When someone says he loves you from the inside of his heart, then the feelings are already there and no factor matters anymore because your love is not been controlled by looks, swags, etc.

So these little tips i have gathered for you will be updated every time as soon as we find more answers to this situation.
For the mean time, we hope you will find this article helpful and implement all strategies been laid down in written for you all.

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The influence your friends can have in your relationship life

I believe you are all familiar with this term known as peer pressure and how it works in destroying the lives of many men and women today.

Since from the beginning of creation, this peer influence has been in great display and has always led its victims towards doing the wrong things in this life. Its always good to have and be among your peers in the social world of today but then, choosing to do things in ones way have been ruled out and and replaced with peer influence which does not do one any favour in his/her life.

The direction this article is taking today is based on how peer groups can bring pressure into ones relationship and dating life which in turn, causes that individual to make the most stupid and wrong choices ever.

Not every peer influence on this aspect has a bad influence and bad conditions to it, many are good and very right for an individual to use to his advantage, while the others can be self-destructive and shameful at the end.

So in every relationship today, there are certain situations in which peer pressures can land you into taking wrong decisions and also doing what is actually wrong but, thinking that you are doing the right thing.
Lets talk about some of the bad peer influence which are based on relationships and possible ways to make sure that you don't fall into them.

Getting a beautiful/handsome partner for the course of your relationship.
This is one great aspect where you see a lot of peer groups and social groups giving same and exact definition to the kind of person they want you to engage with.

For the women, when they have a friend who wants to find a man for herself, they are fond of asking her to look for a handsome man with fine looks, tall or slim, fair or dark, etc.
They always tend to forget that a good man do not always appear in such forms and so, it is not always the best.

Fortunately for such women, they yield into such kinds of advice and peer influence and then, they find a very handsome man with all the qualities listed by her friends.
But unfortunately for such women, when the relationship has started and both parties are now engaged, they see the other sides of that man they have chosen.

Maybe it was unknown to her that the man is a womanizer, a smoker, drug addict, cultist, or any thing of such kind, and once they find out, it might just be too late to draw back because many things have been done which can never be undone.

Also for the men, its also the same situation many are facing. When you have chosen a lady to be with and the lady is not so attractive with all the qualities your friends want, they refuse to accept her in their midst and be a friend to the lover of their friend.
This act always discourages you entirely and perhaps, they must say a little and ask you to change and look for a better woman, this will now entice you to find a very beautiful woman with almost everything your friends need.

But her bad sides and the inner image in her might be hidden and unknown to you, and once the relationship have started, you see them change into something else which can cause you a lot of troubles and regrets.

She might turn out to be too expensive, likes to cheat and even have so many other lovers aside you, that's not a definition to the perfect love life you have always needed.

So when this kind of peer pressure sets in at the verge of your decisions making, the best companion you have is your heart. You should follow the good intentions in your heart and never minding what friends will say to you.
If your goal has always been to find a loving and a caring partner who will be honest and without considering each others looks, then you must follow your heart and do what is right for you.

When your friends see how both of you are relating and how you have been your best the whole time in the relationship, they will learn to accept your choices and move along with you because that is the only option they have and they will learn to embrace your choices.

Influence based on your sexual life.
This is also one of the aspects where peers have great influence in ones life.
For the men, they tend to influence their friends to engaging their lover with sexual intimacy.

In the men's aspect, many men receive peer influence from their friends stating to them that if their wife/girlfriend cant allow them have $ex, then they don't truly love them and so, to know if they truly have love for them, they demand sex from them.

Also, it can be for sexual pleasures, where your friends will put on great pressure on you about being the odd one among them and not been able to experience and experiment.
Because of that, a lot of men tend to fall for the games and engage their partners with sexual activities which they might not turn out to like or enjoy.

As a result, they face many damages in them and great regrets about what they have done, this is not a good situation in any relationship.
Sex is not an act that qualifies for true love, it can be destructive and of great self limitation for the woman and in a community where it is not accepted by all, it is always advisable not to fall for the act.

Dating the rich guy.
This influence is mainly categorised for the ladies where their friends will always pester them to date a rich guy who owns a nice luxury, a nice car and can take them anywhere they want.

This works well with the ladies and many of them do yield to such influences, but when the relationship starts to extend, it normally starts going astray.

When you just find a man and you are just concerned with the money, luxuries and friendly advantages based on his riches, he will later find out and once he does, he will gradually change. Later on, he will actually end the relationship and find a better woman to love him without looking at his wealth status.

These are some of those peer influence which you must desist from if you really want to live a better and a happier relationship life. Don't allow your friends to come in as a third party between you and your lover.
Its always a good choice following your own heart, and when friends come with good influence, embrace and use them, but when bad peer influence is seen in display, you must try every possible best to differentiate your heart from your friends and then, choose to follow your heart.

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Reasons why physical attractiveness counts no more in relationships

So you just see yourself as someone good looking, very beautiful/handsome and has everything anyone could want from a partner but yet, you are single, and you just keep imagining why.

In today's life, many people who go into relationships do not actually care about the physical looks, attractiveness and fitness of the individual they want to get entangled with.
There are many people today who are selective and those who are not, some go for the natural selection technique where they can find someone to fit in their gene and get the desired offspring they want.

But it does not count anymore, many people are smarter and more better than their gene today, and that makes it the reason why looks do no count anymore.
In those days, they often term beautiful women as well behaved, caring and intelligent, but in todays world, the story is known to have changed.

So what do people need in relationships today?

There are many factors people consider before they get into relationships today, and these factors they consider are mainly attributes and characters that are attached to them which makes other people to admire them.

Maturity.
This is one of the factor that people tend to check on before picking a partner to dive into the relationship world with.
So now you are beautiful, handsome and physically attractive but then, this character is found to be missing in you, how do you think someone will want to be with someone who is childish in behaviour and have no sense of maturity at all?

So you see that without this factor, you have a deficiency in getting a life partner.
Thats why your attractiveness does not count here in getting a life partner or just getting into a relationship.

Decency.
Another factor that people consider in finding relationship matches.
When a beautiful and handsome individual is known to lack decency in him/her and just live a life that has no shape of decency and smartness, am sure no one would like to go and make a bid for such kind of a person.

As a beautiful woman, a man would want you to be matured and after that, then comes decency, this is a sure bet for a man to get you into his heart. No man wants to be with a woman who does not know how to talk and also know the right words to use while communicating with others, thats dirtiness in other words, and that would make any man run out of your way.

Caring and loving.
As it is known in those days, beautiful women are the most well behaved, loving and caring ones because of their fine nature and what their parents teach them towards being beautiful, caring and loving, those are characters everyone will want in a woman.

But today, no one cares about the societal norms which are deemed as right prospectives for anyone to be in a relationship. Many just live their life the way they want and do not even care about those who loves them.

Though a woman/man can profess that they love someone, but then fails in their duty to show them love and care, no one will want to be with such kind of a person no matter how beautiful or handsome.

Some months ago, i read a novel about how a woman wanted a man who is well muscled, stubborn and aggressive, a man who will always be out and working towards bringing food and shelter to the family, and also fight to protect the family from other people. But today, how many women will want that?

Now for the man, thats why your muscular and agressive nature will not make a woman to be attracted to you for those reasons.
In todays world, both the women and men are seen all out to places of work twenty four hours in the whole week without thinking about any thing of such nature. So in this situation, what those people would want is just a loving and caring man or woman who can provide rest of mind and comfort for each other.

Sexual selection.
People today are more alike than being diferent, and that is where sexual selection works well.
Many times, people like doing what they see others of their kind doing and so, go for those with their type of gene because they believe they would enjoy every benefit in what they choose to do. People do make choices based on their own interest and so, choosing someone more like them makes the reinforces their choice.

Also for some reasons which are seen as silly, people like doing what they see others of their kind doing and that makes it a choice for them choosing those like them.
You might be doing something with a beautiful woman and if you are ugly, you feel uncomfortable, but while doing that same thing with someone ugly like you are, you feel comfortable and good, and that is same with the beautiful ones.

Also for sexual reason, an ugly woman with fine shape and very expensive sexual organs has the tendency to be selected when compared to a beautiful woman with little shape and weary sensual organs.

Natural selection.
When you are looking for someone to carry on the legacy based on your behaviors, when you want someone to be a good parent like you, thats when you talk about natural selection.

Now in this aspect, looking for a beautiful woman will not work towards achieving those goals. If someone would want an individual who would be reproductive and give many offsring to your generation, then looking for a beautiful woman might not be the case and that is why being beautiful or handsome does not count anymore.

The beauty and handsomeness would be in vain if that individual cannot reproduce and multiply your generation.

Relationships today are about survival, they are about the ability to survive every step in this life and be successful, beauty does not count any more.

So you just see yourself as someone good looking, very beautiful/handsome and has everything anyone could want from a partner but yet, you are single, and you just keep imagining why.

In today's life, many people who go into relationships do not actually care about the physical looks, attractiveness and fitness of the individual they want to get entangled with.
There are many people today who are selective and those who are not, some go for the natural selection technique where they can find someone to fit in their gene and get the desired offspring they want.

But it does not count anymore, many people are smarter and more better than their gene today, and that makes it the reason why looks do no count anymore.
In those days, they often term beautiful women as well behaved, caring and intelligent, but in today's world, the story is known to have changed.

So what do people need in relationships today?

There are many factors people consider before they get into relationships today, and these factors they consider are mainly attributes and characters that are attached to them which makes other people to admire them.

Maturity.
This is one of the factor that people tend to check on before picking a partner to dive into the relationship world with.
So now you are beautiful, handsome and physically attractive but then, this character is found to be missing in you, how do you think someone will want to be with someone who is childish in behaviour and have no sense of maturity at all?

So you see that without this factor, you have a deficiency in getting a life partner.
That's why your attractiveness does not count here in getting a life partner or just getting into a relationship.

Decency.
Another factor that people consider in finding relationship matches.
When a beautiful and handsome individual is known to lack decency in him/her and just live a life that has no shape of decency and smartness, am sure no one would like to go and make a bid for such kind of a person.

As a beautiful woman, a man would want you to be matured and after that, then comes decency, this is a sure bet for a man to get you into his heart. No man wants to be with a woman who does not know how to talk and also know the right words to use while communicating with others, that's dirtiness in other words, and that would make any man run out of your way.

Caring and loving.
As it is known in those days, beautiful women are the most well behaved, loving and caring ones because of their fine nature and what their parents teach them towards being beautiful, caring and loving, those are characters everyone will want in a woman.

But today, no one cares about the societal norms which are deemed as right prospectives for anyone to be in a relationship. Many just live their life the way they want and do not even care about those who loves them.

Though a woman/man can profess that they love someone, but then fails in their duty to show them love and care, no one will want to be with such kind of a person no matter how beautiful or handsome.

Some months ago, i read a novel about how a woman wanted a man who is well muscled, stubborn and aggressive, a man who will always be out and working towards bringing food and shelter to the family, and also fight to protect the family from other people. But today, how many women will want that?

Now for the man, that's why your muscular and aggressive nature will not make a woman to be attracted to you for those reasons.
In today's world, both the women and men are seen all out to places of work twenty four hours in the whole week without thinking about any thing of such nature. So in this situation, what those people would want is just a loving and caring man or woman who can provide rest of mind and comfort for each other.

Sexual selection.
People today are more alike than being different, and that is where sexual selection works well.
Many times, people like doing what they see others of their kind doing and so, go for those with their type of gene because they believe they would enjoy every benefit in what they choose to do. People do make choices based on their own interest and so, choosing someone more like them makes the reinforces their choice.

Also for some reasons which are seen as silly, people like doing what they see others of their kind doing and that makes it a choice for them choosing those like them.
You might be doing something with a beautiful woman and if you are ugly, you feel uncomfortable, but while doing that same thing with someone ugly like you are, you feel comfortable and good, and that is same with the beautiful ones.

Also for sexual reason, an ugly woman with fine shape and very expensive sexual organs has the tendency to be selected when compared to a beautiful woman with little shape and weary sensual organs.

Natural selection.
When you are looking for someone to carry on the legacy based on your behaviors, when you want someone to be a good parent like you, that's when you talk about natural selection.

Now in this aspect, looking for a beautiful woman will not work towards achieving those goals. If someone would want an individual who would be reproductive and give many offspring to your generation, then looking for a beautiful woman might not be the case and that is why being beautiful or handsome does not count anymore.

The beauty and handsomeness would be in vain if that individual cannot reproduce and multiply your generation.

Relationships today are about survival, they are about the ability to survive every step in this life and be successful, beauty does not count any more.

Beauty does not qualify for fitness and as a matter of fact, not everyone wants a beautiful or a handsome partner to roll with, and that is why the two qualities are not equal.
Someone can be said to be beautiful/handsome, but not fit both in morals, character and internal qualities.

So with all these explanations, i believe that you will find it helpful in finding a very compatible partner and not just a partner for attractiveness.

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Read how to maintain a long distance relationship without breaking your trust

Long distance relationships have been seen making waves in recent times due to the instability of people and the nature of their works. Its now seen clearly that most people now moves from one location to another because of work and other factors and as result, long distance relationships have been promoted in the recent times.

But many people who engage in such kinds of relationship seems to find it hard coping with the many disadvantages as it seems to them but not really disadvantages. Like in terms of seeing each other everyday, holding and cuddling each other and sharing of their emotions being together.

Some also find it hard keeping to their vows as they might not be able to see their partners every time of the week or the month. Some only see their partners twice in a month or even 3 times in a year, so you can see how challenging and difficult it is keeping up to the task. For some people, they find it comfortable at the beginning but they often run out of patience at the latter days of the relationship.

That's not supposed to be, I assume that before you go into LDR's, you must have known about what sacrifice you are going to make and what conditions to face and the tasks also ahead of you. So this kind of relationships are not always easy as it seems, the only thing of note for you in such relationships is the happy moments you share when you were together, and the trust both of you share, knowing that your partner does not hold any thing back from you, neither does your partner cheats on you.

In long distance relationships, its all about the philosophy, and not the distance, its the feeling of that love and the single sense of belonging, and also that magical feeling of trust, that's what mostly characterize a LDR going in good condition, but when these items are not present, then the relationship is at stake and a little shake can blow off the relationship into non-existence.

So here are some little tips that will help you maintain your stands and ground your long distance relationship into a type of relationship that you can term to be short and full of excitement.

Improve And Increase The Level Of Communication Between Both Of You.
This is the first step towards achieving a goal like this in long distance relationships. Without proper communication, you can break down and your partner can break down too. It does not really mean calling him or calling her every single hour of the day, no, that's not what it means to maintain proper communication.

When you know you have only a single chance to call your partner in the whole day, then you must pick that time up, and contact her, and you must make sure your call is not short and precise, let your partner know that yes you are interested in him/her and he or she is worth spending time for, get the call going for a long time, and discuss about the most important things, discuss and share your problems, get some jokes for both of you to laugh and feel happy, it always count. When you do such a thing, your partner will add more trust in you and believe that you care about his or her feelings.

Today, the world have spread into different dimensions through social networking, and today, you can find a lot of mediums through which you can communicate with your partner almost every time without stress. You can use social networks where you can even video chat and see each other speaking from each end. It must be fun if you can venture into such social arena's like facebook, twitter, whatsapp, skype, google hangout, etc.

But this is not always fun, it might get boring at some points and that is why you need to try other avenues for this purpose.

So improving your communication level sets you free from fears and complications, you will always be rest assured that your partner still loves you and is still willing to play along the relationship line.

Grow The Trust Between You And Your Partner.
This is the first step towards maintaining and having a long lasting long distance relationship. This is an important factor which will tell how long both of you can stay in that relationship.
So how far have you gone in trusting your partner? When you know he or she is miles away from you, when you don't have knowledge as to what he/she is doing at the closet, or in the open, when you don't even have any body to watch their actions and tell you about their moves and what they are doing, when all these things are unknown to you, how far have you gone to trust him/her?

Now it depends on you, and what you do towards ensuring that they are a trustworthy partner. You can know if your partner can be trustworthy when both of you are communicating to each other. The way your partner responds to you and what she tells you she feel about the relationship. Also when your partner is always interested in speaking with you and always eager to see you any time any where without restrictions, then trust can be seen present.

Grow your interests and do things that will let you grow personally
Now you have to get something doing, something that will ease you of the stress of thinking about your partner every time. You must also do things in her own interest and achieve goals that will better the tomorrow in your relationship.

Maybe advancing your career life, finding a better job or involving in activities that will give you good and sound memories about your partner without having that boredom feeling of them not being able to be together with you at that point in time.

While doing this, you must not forget to plan with your partner about the days and moments you will be seeing each other. Its vital towards ensuring that your partner keeps a check on the day that both of you will be seeing each other.

Live a happy life, enjoy with family and friends and ensure you don't feel bored most times because it gives you that sad thought about your partner and leaves you in a bad mood and shape.

Arguments are not good at all in LDR's , and you must do everything possible to avoid it, what are you arguing for by the way? So it's not always a good time to argue while in a long distance relationship.

Avoid being jealous.
This is one of the biggest challenge faced by people who engage in long distance relationships. So to avoid this, you must try to create a honest and trustworthy bond between you and your partner, not giving ears to rumors you hear about your partner because when you allow a third party into the relationship, then you will be left will suspicions everyday because there must always be a report which you don't actually know if it is true or false.

Always exercise patience.
Don't get easily upset or angry when you can't hear from your partner or when things go the way that does not favour you. Accept all the excuses and reasons for failure in any plan that did not turn out to go well. Your patience is what will keep the relationship going and if both of you have that love for each other, then I don't think any one will draw back from the other. So what will be the product to all these? A happy ending of course.

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When love gets confusing - What to do if he/she loves you but acts weird and strange sometimes

Men and women generally have been known for their strange behaviours sometimes in a relationship, but these strange behaviours does not have the same meaning in every man or woman, it takes different forms and meanings as to why they act in such a strange ways.

As a woman/man, you know when a guy or a woman truly loves you, and you know when a they starts to loose interest in you. And here comes this situation where you know that yes, they really loves you and will not do any thing to hurt you, but then sometimes, they just acts strange like they are not even interested in you, and if you are such type who easily gets shaken with a little challenge in your relationship, you start having nightmares as to what is happening and you grow suspicion in your relationship.

It's not a good time to get confused and frustrated when ever you see such things going on in your relationship. It does not mean that your partner is starting to loose interest in you. Your partner is well interested in you, in every relationship in existence today, there are moments when the man or the women suddenly acts weird and strange for no reason and later comes back to his or her normal senses in the relationship.

It has happened to me once or so, and it happened this way.
I went to see my girlfriend at her home, and before I left to go and meet her, I already informed her that I was coming and she was so happy, then I came. When i was approaching the house, I called her and told her i have already arrived and am approaching her home, she said okay and she never told me anything else. To me it was unusual, because the other times, whenever I told her am at her gate, she would run out, approach me and give me a hug, or a kiss, or even if she does not do any of that, she will probably come to welcome me and then walk me down to the parlor or into her room.

So it was a strange incident to me, I had to now walk into the house alone and when I entered the parlor, everyone was around, her dad, her mom, her sisters and brothers, although I already know them all and they know me too, but it was so strange to me and I was so shy. She was not even in the parlor, she was inside her room, so I decided to wait and see what she was upto.

We were in the parlor talking and chatting with everyone when she came with a glass of water and another bottled drink of a sort and kept them in front of me. Then no more word, she just went inside again and came out with some snacks in a plate, it wasn't for me, she went to the back seats in the parlor and sat down, I was wondering what was happening, she never talked to me as it used to happen before, then I just decided to watch her do her thing her own way.

Then almost everyone was out of the parlor in a short time because it's already night, I was left in the parlor with two of her sisters watching a movie. Then I decided to turn at my back and see what she was doing, immediately I looked back, our eyes meet and to my surprise, she gave me such a look that explains things like " why are you looking at me", "what an ugly face you have there, stop looking at me", "why are you looking at me? You are pissing me off", "am not interested in talking, don't look at me". Those are the explanations to the kind of look she gave me whining and rolling her eye balls from left to right, then up and down.

I felt a little angry, and embarrased of course, why will my girlfriend do such a thing? Oh maybe something was wrong, I need to find out, but how? She is not even interested in talking.

The first thing I did after what she did was to tell her sisters am going and I bounced out of the house angrily and with much curiousity as to why she did such a thing.

So what happened after that and how did I handle that situation? Am going to tell you while we talk about the subject matter.

So as a woman, you might have a similar case as mine or another case totally different from that, but I think it all explains the same situation, which is "Acting Strange and weird" all for no reasons. So this happens most times in every relationship. But there is no cause for alarm, you don't have to disturb yourself. Just consider the followwing things in order to handle such situations in your relationship.

Think of any previous incident that made your partner angry.
Now when your partner is now acting strange, you have to think if there was any previous incident between the both of you that made him/her angry and so, caused the strange attitude being portrayed.
So when you know something happened previously in the past, then you know that's the reason why he or she is acting strange.

All you need to do is to stop worrying and call your partner, then solve your problems and differences, if it requires you to appologise, then do it and get your relationship going.

Ask your part the reason behind the strange behaviour
Like in my own situation, it happened that she understood that I was angry about the fact she abandoned me and gave me a confusing look, and when I left the house and almost out of the gate, i saw her running towards me and was asking me to wait. I waited and she approached me, she asked me why I left, and asked me if I was angry or what. Then I replied her with a big "YES, I was angry because of what you did, for the fact that you did not even care to give me attention like you use to do before and also gave me such a confusing look, why do you have to do that? What is wrong with you, us? Have i done anything wrong? Please tell me, do you still love me and want to be with me?"

Those are just the questions I asked her and she replied them one after the other, to my surprise, she had no reason for acting the way she did, and she just asked me to forgive her that it's not going to happen again, and that yes, she still love me like those times we started dating.

Now after that, I was very much calm and understood that it was not her intention to act the way she did, maybe nature just decided to take over her and she could not help the situation, and having heard from her, I had no doubt in me that everything was fine and it was just a mere strange act.

So now, if you already know that there was no past incident which would have caused his/her strange act, then you should call him/her and calmly ask why he/she is acting in such a strange and weird way. Now this is not a time to fight, so while doing this, try to stay calm, focus on what they have to tell you and try to understand what they say.

The reason why your partner is acting strange might be maybe because they are going through a hard situation which they find hard to cope with or handle and as a result, you see such things reflecting your relationship and causing some changes.
So you should not judge your partner straight away, give your partner time and if he/she truly loves you, they will surely clear your minds and tell you that everything is alright just to make sure you put on a beautiful smile on your face once again.

Now when you have done all that and unfortunately, your partner refuse to answer to your questions or explain what is happening to you, then you know something is wrong, and the only thing you should do here is to give them space and time, and just keep yourself happy without caring about them. If they are ready to move along with you and make you happy again, then you will see that they come back to you and tell you everything you have to know.

Just love yourself for who you are and keep on smiling to those problems, you should just stop worrying and move on, if you were meant to continue and be together, your partner will surely come back to meet you were he/she left you.

So use these tips and I assure you that you will be a pro in handing such matters when they arise in any relationship you engage in.

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Choosing who comes first: your lover or your work?

Choosing between your lover and your startup can be something really hard to do these days and as a result, many relationships have turned awful and breaking up becomes the only option left for the other.

Sometimes, when people are planning of getting involved in a relationship, they tend not to discover and find out moments when their work becomes a priority, or when their partner becomes a priority.

There are times when you see your work denying you the time you need to go and spend with your partner, and not because you don't care about your partner, but because of the nature of your work.
Your partner might be an entrepreneur who is always away out of the home and is always busy with many works outside the family, and you as the wife might just be a woman without work always sitting at home and doing nothing. Now this situation will get you worried as a wife because you will not always get the love, care and warmth you need from a responsible husband.

But however, your partner's work can never define if he is responsible or not because it will never get you the right conclusion. So you must find a suitable way to handle this situation and ensure that the gap is balanced between you and your partner's work.

Also situations have it that relationships in this form do not go well most times, that is a situation where your partner is a business man and is always business minded all the time and everywhere. In this kind of a relationship, you find out as a wife or girlfriend that your partner does not care to give attention to matters that has to do with the both of you but rather, he has more pleasure talking to you about business matters and deals.

This is really not encouraging as it can cause confusion in your mind as to whether your partner really cares about you or pays more attention to his work. This is mostly the case and the worst effect might be that your wife or girlfriend might start seeking for care and attention else where and finally, you are now turned into a side kick.

Now all these things need to be organised and put in order because you as a husband or boyfriend, do not pay attention to your work more than her because you want to get her always sad. Its just the nature of your work and you can not change the course except if you want to get another job.

Now since this is making both of you uncomfortable, there is need for you to find a means to balance the two things while living your life just the normal way you use to.

Give your work the first priority.
This work is something more like your dreams, it has been your dream for years, to go to high school, get educated and have a good job, or to become one of the greatest entrepreneurs of time with your creativity and skills, or to venture into a business that earns you uncountable amount of money all the time.

Now those have been your dreams, now you have achieved those dreams and finally got settled with a wife or a girlfriend.
I don't think you should choose to give more attention to your partner than to your work. Your work is your means to living and once you abandon it, many things will extinct and your work might suffer loss, or have a massive loss in your business.

I believe that will not favour your girlfriend or wife, so you must first choose your work, then try finding ways to balance the both and live a better life.

Make her understand the nature of your work.
As a man in a relationship, it is always good that you find time to sit and discuss with your partner about your dreams and goals in this life. By doing so, you are giving each other an opportunity to know what your future will be like.

Now as the woman, when you find out his own dreams does not favour your wants, it is unkind of you to suggest that he abandons that dream just because you don't like it, hence allowing him to chase it will give him a reason to appreciate you in his life.

Now when you know that he cant leave his dreams, the first step you should take towards balancing the situation is to be supportive to him and work towards his own direction. This will make her understand the nature of your work and be knowledgeable to it.

On the contrary, the reason why your spouse finds it hard figuring you out is because she never understands the nature of the work and how it goes.
As it stands, when you don't know about how something works, you normally misquote them and take misconceptions on those things without thinking if its true or not.

So the first step to balancing between your wife/girlfriend and your work is to sit her down, then explain things to her and tell her about your work.
This will let her understand the nature of the work and why it has to be like that. Now this will get her to be more supportive and helpful towards your own paths in life.

Then after doing that, you must find time and create avenues when both of you will be together to spend the little of your time.
Though the time you spend without each other is much and great pain have been conceded, the time you spend together will surely take away those pains and replace them with joy.

What if she refuses to listen to you?
If after explaining things to your partner, but she failed or refuses to understand and be supportive, then the best thing for you is to let her go and move onto your road to greater acheivements. There is someone who will be willing to understand you and support your dreams, so look for one.

Relationships are  about adding values to each others life and assisting each other to chase their dreams. So you must be sure to keep your work in pace and never allow your spouse to slow it down, a good woman will respect her man's dreams and help him achieve them.

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Effects of Long distance relationships and things that makes it unfavourable

Long distance relationships are the only kind of relationship that has been seen with lots of effects which might not favour the partners in the relationship.

LDR's are good and can ease you of many unnecessary situations but at the same time, it has the ability of making you do weird things which are out of your mind because your partner is no where near you.

In every long distance relationships, there are certain effects which are prevalent if given a room which in turn, can tear your relationship apart and set it ablaze.
Hence, there is need for you to keep a watch on those effects which might flow in anytime at any point.

At some points, these effects are challenges that people who engage in LDR's face both physically and emotionally.
So the main aim of this article is to inform you of those effects LDR has on you and how you can handle the situations effectively so you dont fall a victim to those challenges which can end up screwing you up in the relationship.
Here are some of those effects of long distance relationships and how to handle the situations when they set in or show up in your relationship.

You must choose to trust your partner.
This is one of the well known effect and criteria which is always a necessity in every LDR.
You must choose to trust your partner because that is the only option you have. Choosing not to trust them only puts the relationship in another mood which will always cause you problems and difficulties.

Unlike the other kinds of relationships, where you are always around your partner and you always get informed about any thing going around your partner, this gives you the opportunity to choose either to trust your partner, or choose to give your partner an untrustworthy mark because you have already known them in and out.

But when in a LDR, you are not close to your partner, and you are hardly informed and noticed about anything happening around your partner or anything going one in their cycle, now you only know that love is surely the bond that keeps both of you together, and to seal that bond, you must choose to now trust your partner to save your skins and maintain the relationship.

But what if your partner is not trustworthy? Well thats the case, you dont have an option because you dont really know the things going on around them. And if you want to keep the relationship, then its compulsory that you trust them.

Just ascertain that yes, your partner is trustworthy, and dont give it a second thought.
So knowing if your partner is trustworthy is left for you to find out when you are finally together.
Now this is a really great effect because you might and might not be making the right decision and sometimes, it turns you into a fool. But as it is always said, it's better to be a fool in love than to be wise and be alone, thats awesome, you win.

You always miss your partner.
This one is a though one, because you can find yourself doing a lot of strange things when you are missing your partner so much.

It have happened to me and i was almost a victim to that situation. It happened that i was taking the LDR type and a time came when i wanted the presence of my girlfriend so badly, i needed someone to hold me around her arms and give me a warm touch, i needed someone to share some lovely moments with, but she was no where near. Then there was another girl who was interested in me but i told her that am not ready for her, she lives near the place i live too, so i called her and told her am coming to meet her, she agreed and i was already on my way to her apartment.

I was almost into the compound when i got a call from my girlfriend, and she gave me a shocking surprise, she promised to come and see during the weekend.
I was so happy but almost lost my breath due to the senses that came back to my brain, i realized i was heading the wrong way, i just went back and i called the lady, lying to her that an important issue came up and so i could not turn up, then i started tidying things up for my girl's coming.

So you see how dangerous it was and the kind of effect it had on me.
While in a LDR, there are moments when you will want someone to hold you, be together with, share your feelings and someone to cluster round your arms, now your partner is not there and this is what you want so badly, you become like a hungry vampire craving for blood. Now you know what it means, you are completely out of your mind and unless if someone is there to talk senses into your head, you will end up doing something so crazy. Sometimes, its really hard to overcome and that is why it will have a bad effect on your relationship.

Everyone seems good and nice,so you know your partner in a different way.
It always happen in every long distance relationships because both of the partners are away from each other.
When ever both of communicate on the phone, everyone seems nice, good, hygeinic and perfect, but that is not the actual nature of the both of you.

You dont know if your partner is a dirty person, or is a talkactive, or someone who does not respect her elders, or someone who does not like making peace but causing troubles, or someone who just lacks every important quality to living happily with people.

So you see this can affect your relationship maybe when you are finally together as you will get to know and see many strange attitudes and nature which your partner always portray on the outside and inside.

There are also some of the effects which i did not mention because it occurs to only few people, but not minding, i will use them to summarise this great article.

In some people who take the LDR type, they in no time get bored of calling, video chats and other social networking means through which they communicate, some run out of things to talk about and as a result, boredom sets in.
Also you see some spending lots of money and also, travelling a lot of miles just to go and see their lover. Now this can be disturbing and inconsiderate sometimes.
Also in some people, they always spend time looking and searching for ways to make their relationship work, some might not be able to see each other easily, so the equally spend and waste much time looking for a means to hook up to each other.

All these things when considered, can mean lots of time waste trying hard to maintain the relationship where you dont actually know if there is a possible future for you and your partner.

However, nothing is a waste, it pays to be patience. Holding on to trust, loyalty and honesty is the only way your long distance relationship can work out and at the end, be happily united to one another in love.

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How to move away from the friend zone to become a potential lover and partner

One of the big mistakes people make while trying to be lovers is taking the friendly approach and syndrome when interacting with those people.

Certain actions always describe what people will make of you and who they will see and take you as. When you always try acting the light way in such a form that the other person might not see you as a potential individual for a date, then you are missing the trail.

There are many things that will determine how that girl will take you and know you as, and we are going to see into them.

Potentiality
When you have already let yourself to be friend zoned by a girl in your life, and now you feel like you want to be someone else and not just a friend, but a lover, then there is a factor that you must develop which both of you must adapt to before you can change the level of the kind of relationship between both of you.

This factor am talking about is the potentiality factor. You are said to be a potential partner when a possible future between you and that girl can be seen wavering around without doubts. But you have already killed the opportunity of meeting that criteria, which is why you must work on developing such a factor.

When you are a potential partner, then you are not just somebody dating an ordinary personality, you are someone dating an individual who means the whole world to you.
Now you are not yet dating, so you can't be termed a potential partner.

So how do you become a potential friend and not just a friend?
Since you have made the mistake of turning yourself into a friend which ended you up being friend zoned, you now need to walk your way up to making yourself a potential friend. This will enable the transformation to work effectively and allow her get a hint when you start making a move towards becoming a lover.

This also means that you want to transform yourself into someone she will want to date because of what she is now seeing in you.
So here are some steps you must take to enable you move away from the friend zone.

*Avoid being an amazing and caring friend
Many actions you take will tell her the level at which she will pace you. Here are some areas you must change and desist from if you want to move away from the friend zone.

*When you always act as the caring one physically and materially.
*If you always advice her on things to do and parts to take in life.
*Also if you like addressing her relationship and dating matters.
*When you like spirituality and talking about religious activities
*when you try hard to know her and understand her

Those things are some of the things which can keep you being friend zoned your entire life, so you must act up and wise up. So you must cultivate those habits and try other things that can replace such acts. Its just like reversing the above situation. Here is how.

*Go for her emotional needs and be caring more in her emotions, caring for her physical and material needs will only continue to tie you down inside the friend zone.

*You don't want to be her mentor or life teacher, so stop being the one telling her what to do and advising her about her life, doing that will only allow you to continue being her teacher, and perhaps, a friend, now these qualities can end you up in the friend zone.

*Don't talking about her relationship life, stop advising her about relationship matters because by doing so, you are excluding yourself from her emotional feelings and drawing other people closer to her. So to let yourself join the train, you must stop being the one telling her what to do in terms of her dating life.

*Now this is also a friend zoning point, when you like discussing about spiritual and religious things. You don't want to be her religious teacher or up keeper, so avoid this and give her something else to chew about you.

*Also when trying to understand a woman physically, you should not do it the friendly way because you will end up being friend zoned. So don't do that, rather learn to love her and know more about her emotional feelings so she can have that feeling of you being part of her life.

Now these are just a few of the things you should do to escape and move away from the friend zone, but you still have little more works to complete so as to perfect the condition that you are no more being friend zoned.
Here are a list of some more actions you must take to complete the process.

Spend much time together with her
This is one necessary step you should never neglect. Doing this will tell her that you are interest in always being to together with her which will also create another impression about you in her mind.

When you are together with her, you must talk about things that are pertaining to both of you and talk about emotional things. But you must not try too hard because you might start making her feel uncomfortable.

You should also be always around her and make her feel cared for emotionally.
You can try other things like texting her sweet messages at midnight so that she can wake up to read them in the morning, or you text her before she goes to bed, it works like magic if you do it the right way.

So after doing all these things, i assure you she will be able to take a hint at you and know what you are up to. So approaching her will not be any problem for you.

What if after doing all these things, she still can't take a hint at you?
Then the first thing to do is to distance yourself away from her, maybe she needs personal space to breath fresh air on what is happening in her cycle. Now she might realize how important you have been and how you have affected almost every area of her life. She probably will start missing you.

Once you have achieved that, then every other time is a good time to express your feelings to her and tell her how emotional you feel are when you are together.

But if you are not sure that everything you did worked, then you don't have to continue trying, give yourself some personal space also to take a fresh air on what happened in the past, now you must not give up, but give it another try as far as she is still who you know her to be.

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Things You Must Know Before Getting Into A Relationship

The process of dating is a long one and generally, some people just go into dating without having a definite purpose for going into the relationship, they seem to forget that there are certain factors that need to be considered before starting the relationship train.

Some others just go into relationships because of peer pressure and desperation, for some people, it is also for the thirst of experiencing and achieving sexual aims and not for the purpose of true love. Many others also go into relationships because they want to experience what love feels like.

When Is The Right Time To Start Dating?

There is no specific time set for individuals to start dating, as far as you have attained the age of 20+, then i assure you that you can start dating, and it does not matter if you are 30+, you can still start the dating process. You must only have in mind the purpose for which you are going into the relationship. You must find the right purpose for which you want to engage in the relationship.

Also before you start the relationship, you must know that it entails different kinds of sacrifice and there are many factors that makes a relationship move well. Without knowing what these factors are, you might find it hard coping with the relationship stands.
So here you go, before turning the dating lights on, here are necessary things you must take not of.
Things You Must Know Before Getting Into A Relationship

Know what you want in a potential partner.
I believe you are not someone looking for an anyhow partner with wrong intentions about the relationship. So to successfully venture into the dating arena, you must know what you want from someone you can say to be a potential partner. In a potential partner, there is love, care, respect and understanding, no hidden secrets and trust is always a compulsory criteria.

So once you have known what you want in that person, you can kick off for the dating game, when you discover that these options are missing in that individual, then he or she might not be a potential partner but just a lover, now you don't need just a lover.

Know What Your Deal breaker's are
In everything you do, there are things that makes you feel uncomfortable and comfortable, there are things you like and things you do not like.

So to make your relationship work well, know those things which makes you loose focus in the relationship, then you must rule them out, and make sure you find a potential partner who will not go for your deal breakers.

Find out what you don't fancy in a potential partner.
This is just the opposite to what you want from a potential partner. These are characters possessed by people which does not favour your dating conditions. For example if that girl or that guy is rude and disrespectful, i don't think that person will be a potential partner to you because she will not respect you and love you just the way you would want to love and respect her.

If that fellow you want to date have bad manners and lacks in speaking with a calm tone, and also have bad manners of approach to situations, then she might not be considered a potential partner to you. So when you have known what it is that you want from a potential partner, it will guide you towards making the right relationship choices.

Date someone who shares same interest with you
Now with this one step, you would be able to date someone who will always make you find comfort in whatever you are doing. Dating someone who shares same interest with you will help the relationship move in good shape without having misunderstandings.

If you are a footballer, and you like watching and playing football both at night and day, but the person you want to take as a partner loves dancing and going to the clubs, you see it will be hard for both of you to get along.

It might be the time for you to go watching a football match at night, and then that's the time your partner wants to visit the club to have fun, now you are at the cinema or in the house watching a football match, and your partner will probably be out there dancing at club, now this does not favour the relationship at all, things will be happening and there will be a lot of setback to the relationship.

So to define a true relationship, there must be similar interests between the two individuals and they must work towards a common goal that is of interest to both of them.

Be a trustworthy and honest individual
Without these two ingredients in a relationship, then it can never work well for you. Every relationship today that does not have a ground on trust and honesty, then that relationship will suffer lots of difficulties in the latter part of such relationships.
When you know you can easily cheat on a person, emotionally and physically, then it will be hard for you to maintain trust with your partner.

Also is honesty, when you are not honest in your daily living, then you can never be honest in the relationship, you must find a reason to lie and pretend to be truthful, and once that act is going on in your relationship, it will not take too long and your partner will discover your lies and dishonesty, that's the starting point to relationship problems.

So this trust and honesty is vital, you must learn to be trustworthy and honest because that's the only criteria on which your relationship can stand.

Know What Makes You Happy And Excited
This will help you find someone who clearly will want to have fun with you and make you feel okay because he or she have already known your points of happiness and excitement.

You will not find a partner who does not always smile and feel like he or she want to have fun, and then expect yourself to be happy with them always, you know it does not work that way. Being excited and happy requires someone who would make you to feel such way.

Now you just have to work on those aspects above in order to get into a working relationship life with lots of benefits without remorse and regrets. And don't forget that age matters a lot when we talk about dating, you should not date an individual who has much age gap between both of you or someone who is far enough to be your uncle or aunty, the relationship can turn out to be one sided. So that's what you must take note of before you start dating.

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Finding a compatible partner for a relationship: why you are still single despite being successful

Many times, both the men and the women use to think that being successful and having physical qualities guarantee's them to finding a compatible partner for a relationship that match their standards, but its barely a true fact, that's why you see many successful men and women staying as singles without marriage.

Being a financially independent lady, or a successful man are not part of the qualities that many people consider while looking for a soul mate to settle down with. For the woman, being very attractive and successful does not even bring you a step forward to getting the rightful partner.

In today's life, many people choose not to look into qualities such as success and financial independence while looking for a compatible partner, and so if you think whose qualities will make a guy, or a lady to like you, then you are wrong.
Thinking of such qualities in this process is intimidating, though having a successful person as your partner is desirable, but not much considered while searching for true love and a compatible partner. There are so many things that matters a lot while looking for a compatible partner.

Setting your standards so high is one factor that will limit the choices you have in getting a compatible partner. But what does a compatible partner mean to you? Does it mean someone who also have the same success and financial stands like you? If so, then you are taking it the wrong way.

You should be able to learn that a compatible partner does not necessarily mean that the person must be successful as you are, but means someone who shares the same interest with you and is willing to love and cherish you no without thinking twice about your wealth status.

There are some things which makes other people think that coming for you will be a rejection for them, some of these things are:

1) You like your independence: as you know that you are financially independent and don't need anyone to help you spend your cash or tell you what and what to do with your cash, this will scare many people away because they think coming into your life will cause you discomfort and bring your financial independence to an end, and they probably think you will not allow them to do that. So because of that, they refuse to come because of your high standard of living.

2) You just want a person who will match your working class, someone who also have what you have, and that is to say, you are picky. Now you know that is not going to happen. standards are also good but finding someone whose personality is different from yours and who have different interest will make you have a very interesting relationship life.

3) When you live with high standards, many of the people who want to meet you for a serious relationship will be scared off because they think you don't need them, as your standards of living shows you are so self-sufficient and so, no one would like to think that you need them.

Finding a compatible partner for a relationship who you can settle with have to be done in a way that shows you are ready for the things coming regardless of your being a successful person.
So you need to ask your self these following questions.

1) What does being a suitable partner means to you?

2) Now that you are ready to settle down, what does compatibility means to you?

3) Assuming you did not find anyone compatible and suitable for you now that you are ready to settle down with someone, what will now be your next plan?

4) Since you are financially compatible and strong, what will be your expectations from that person you consider a suitable partner?

5) If you don't find anyone compatible and suitable to you and you are still single and searching for many years now, will you be ready to lower those things you are expecting from the partner of yours? Will you be ready to drop some one those expectations and just consider other factors like real love, care and support? Or will you just continue to look up to those standards?.

Now ask yourself those questions and if you find it hard answering them, then here are some things I consider you to do when things don't work out the way you want.

1) You must reduce those expectations and be less concerned about those expectations which you want to be in-line with your own standards.

2) Find a mentally stable person, and make sure you don't put much expectations from him/her.

3) Make sure you are good in listening, be a good listener and also be a patient person so that you will be able to listen well to situations around you.

4) Be sociable: at lest this will help you to find someone who is right for you and someone who can make you happy by showing much love and care without minding your financial status. Also this will give you the chance to see who will be right for you to move on with.

5) Don't expect your Mr. Right or Mrs. Right to just come with so much fitness, wealth and a happy countenance, a good reputation can never be built in one day, and so is a good man/woman, you don't expect the right person to be an achiever at first sight, you must give things time for change.

So as someone finding a compatible partner for a relationship, you must learn not to care so much about standards, though its desirable, and if you find a good person with such qualities, then it's a lucky one for you, but am sure that if you consider all the things been written down above, it will help you towards climbing the ladder to finding a compatible and a suitable partner.

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How to end a relationship when you are not sure about the future of your relationship

So here comes this situation where you are in a relationship with someone who you know you can't be together with in the future, and you love that person so much, but since you are not sure of the future for both of you, and then you are looking for ways on how to end a relationship.

Is there any need to continue in the relationship? Or it's just time to break off and move on with your life with another person whom you know you can be together with in the future.

This is a situation in one's life where the individual gets confused about the relationship and wishes to find reasons for being in that relationship.
When that person you are in love with is the only person that keeps you going, you are being addicted to that person, that person have become part of your life and your dreams, you can't sit for a second without thinking about that person, and all you have wanted was to be together with that person, then here comes the situation where you are sure that both of you can't be together in the future, then you realize that it was all a fantasy.

There are many situations that makes one to know that they can not be together with that person they have wished to be with in the future. Here are some of those situations and how to get over with them without thinking yourself out. Here we go.

* When Your Parents Do Not Approve That Person And Probably Don't Even Want You To Be With Him Because He Has Nothing To Show Off And He Does Not Have Enough To Take Good Care Of You In The Future. So you want to breakup with him

This Situation is faced by mostly the women in relationships today, so here is an objective answer to relief you of this situation.
Let's take it this way, if you will want to breakup with him because he is not what your parents want him to be, then you don't love him, and you are not in love with him. If you really love him, then you don't have to love the version of him which your parents and friends wants him to be.

If you really love him, then you will love who he is at that moment, and you will not be thinking of what your parents or friends want him to be or what they approve of him. When you love him truly, then your family and friends have limited choices to what you want. This means that your family and friends must accept you as you are and as who you are. Now this also implies that they must accept the choices you make towards things that makes you happy.

So you see that you have to let him go, or you love him for who he is and for who you are, if you really love him, then your love is not an outward love, but if you love what you want him to be, then you have to let him go when in situations like this because you are not truly in love with him.

In situations like this, you can't change him into someone your friends and family will approve for you because you don't have the right to do so, and if you think you can change him to be what your family wants him to be, then you are also giving him the right to turn you and change you to whosoever he wants you to be. Now am sure you are not ready for that. So you should let go of him if you want him to be what your family approve of him, or you continue to love him and get your family and friends to respect you for your choices you make and for whom you are.

* Your Partner Is Not Strongly Committed To You.
When your partner is strongly committed to you and the relationship, and also if he/she really want to be together with you in the future, you see your partner doing a lot of things and making a lot of good decisions which shows you that he/she truly loves you and want to be together with you in the future. Some of these things might be: 1) Relocating to the area where you live. 2) Getting to school for a good education background. 3) Getting a better job just to make sure both of you don't find it hard caring for your needs. Etc.

But when your partner finds it hard coming to live at the same location with you, or even coming to the area where you live just to see you, or when he/she finds it hard looking for a better job to make you feel comfortable, or when he/she does not want to go to collage despite the fact that you want him/her to go to collage. Then you know that they are not dedicated to making you happy and making decisions that makes you feel comfortable.

Also when your partner finds it hard coming to see your family, while your own family are eager to see that your lover. Your family will see it this way as not being serious about the relationship, and that's the impression you will get too. So when you see such incidents setting into your relationship, you should breakup with your partner because the future is not clearly seen to be true between both of you.

There are situations where you find your partner very controlling and self-centered, you see that your partner does not really does things that shows care and love for you. When your partner does things based on his/her own interest, that means your lover does not care about how you feel when things are not taken the way you want them to be.

* The Time To Breakup:
When you know that there is no future in your relationship, just breakup because there is no need of being in the relationship, love is not an investment fund. You might have been in the relationship for a long period of time, but you don't have to regret the time you have wasted, because you live in a planet called earth where you live, you love, you win and you also fail. So there is nothing you lost. The time both of you have spent have given you a lot of experience, you have learned a lot of things about this thing called relationship, and you don't owe that person you broke up with anything. You broke up because you feel like that person does not meet your desires and aspirations as to what you want from a potential partner

* It's Always Good To Be Patient:
But sometimes, it will seem that you are all in a hurry to get what you want, not knowing that good dreams and aspirations don't come through the easy way at all times. Sometimes you need to allow things to develop and evolve for good. Maybe you think that your partner does not have enough to take care of you, do you think that things will continue to be like that? Or because your partner is still in collage while you are already a working class.
Things always change and you see the poor today becoming the rich tomorrow. So it always count when you remain patient and allow things to happen at the times being set for them.

* Why Not Give Your Relationship A Chance?
Its not always good looking for ways on how to end a relationship when you are not thinking of breaking up, then the option you got is to give your relationship a chance. Now during this time, you need to set many things aright and get them moving in the right direction you want them to go. You have to improve your communication with your lover and talk about the things that both of you want from each other and discuss on how you can get them fulfilled.

Talking about what your friends, if they don't like partner, then you need to know the right body languages to use while talking about him/her so that they don't turn him off or see him as a jerk whenever both of you are together. While giving your relationship a chance, you must allow things to develop and improve in their own times and not looking for ways on how to end a relationship.

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Trust and love: how to get over trust Issues with your partner

In many relationships I have seen day by day, I discovered that many partners involved in relationships do have a trust issue with one another, and sometimes, it's hard for both of them to get along in that relationship and that is where the issue of trust and love sets in. 

In any relationship that comes into existence, there must be trust, and when trust is absent, then that relationship will never work because a vital component tends to be missing in that particular relationship. So let's talk about some trust situations and how to get over them in the long run.

* Like in the case of one friend of mine, he narrated his story to me about " his girl who have always lied to him before they started to be lovers, and immediately they got into a relationship with each other, he now find it hard trusting her because of his past experience with her, knowing her abilities to lie over many things. So because of this, he just finds it hard trusting her .

Solution: Now in this case, what could you have done if you are the one? Or are you also in the same situation described above? Now read this.
If you really love your partner and you still want to be together with her or with him, don't you think discussing about it together with an open mind will help to lessen the heavy load of distrust you have in your partner? Lying to you before the relationship started is one different situation, and so you have to know why she has been lying to you before your relationship kicked off. Let's say it this way, maybe lying to you before the relationship was because it's her own idea and way of not allowing you to go away or kick against what she has lied to you about.

So you don't actually know her own reasons for such lies, and by discussing it with her, you get to hear from her own perspective and think from her own points of reason.
This process will allow you to have a proper and clear understanding of the situation and it will help you to handle it the right way. 

To bring this part to close, it is absolutely true that everyone lies, everybody lies in a relationship but it depends on the effect of that lie to your relationship, so if the lie being spoken turns out harmful to your relationship, then you use the solution above to sort it out and know if your relationship can still stand, but if the lie being spoken has proven to be harmless to your relationship, then the best thing to do is to let go of those lies and rebuild your trust once again. 

Its just a matter of giving the relationship one last chance by taking a risk to build back the trust you have in your partner, so any other thing you do apart from this is just a total waste of time, so better just give it a shot, just a try.

* A Close friend of yours reported to you that he/she saw your partner hanging out with an ex, having a very romantic dinner with another person,or exchanging lovely and romantic text messages with someone, but when you asked your partner about it, your partner flatly denied being there or doing it.

Solution:
This might be a though one for you, and if you are in this kind of a situation, what will you do? Who will you believe? Your friend or your partner? Read what you have to do now.

* Firstly, you have to consider the trust you have the reporter of such incident: is the source someone you fully trust with your life or with your belongings, is the source someone you take advice and even share secrets with? You need to consider this first.

* Secondly, you need to consider and find out the possiblity of such claims: think if it's really possible that your partner have that kind of a mind to do things like that.

* The last thing you are going to do finally, is to check her behavior and compare it with the nature of your partner, see if she have the mind of doing such a thing and also know if her behavior gives you an expression that she could do such things. If your partner likes talking to the opposite gender every time or if your partner likes making friends with the opposite gender all day, then you see that her behavior can give you a clue as to whether he/she is capable of doing such things.

So after doing all your research and detective works, you have to meet your partner, and then ask your partner about what was being reported to you. Now if your partner says that your friend(the reporter) is mistaken and have no idea of what he is doing, if your partner denied the act, then your partner is innocent and the only thing that can make her guilty is when your friend got a prove for what he/she has reported.

In some cases, your friend might be spying on your relationship and in any case, trying to find one guilt or the other to set your relationship ablaze. So if you hate such kind of things like spying on your relationship, then every thing reported should be marked as untrue unless if your reporter have gotten a prove to what is being reported, and if not, you should trust what your partner have said and let your relationship be built on trust terms. However, you always see that you believe who you trust more, if you really trust your partner and then, you also choose to trust your partner when such things happen, then tell the reporter " pictures! Or it didn't happen" . 

But on the flip side, if you choose to believe your friend, then go on and believe him/her, but you must be ready for a breakup because I see no reason you will continue to stay when you believe your partner have been cheating on you.

But what if you still love your partner?
If you still love your partner despite all the reports, and there is no prove to what he/she have done, then go on and trust her, she is innocent until proven guilty, and when you don't see things falling apart between both of you, or change in your partners action and behaviour towards you, then you need not to trust your friend, trust what your partner have said.

What If There Was a Prove To The Report And it's true, but you still love your partner?
If there was a prove to what happened, and it was true, but your partner already denied it, and you still love her, well you have to take the risk of trusting her again if he/she decides to admit to what have happened and claim guilty, but if your partner is still denying it when you have a prove, the best option is to breakup from that relationship and move on with your life. It will only be killing you inside if you stay in that relationship knowing that your partner have been cheating on you. 

So if your partner accept the guilt after you had a prove, and you still love your partner, then you can give them a second chance to make things right, but this is a risk you are taking, so don't trust them with 100% of your trust again until they get you to trust them wholeheartedly.

So with these little solution tips I have gathered, I hope you find it meaningful and useful if you find yourself in that kind of a situation wg.

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